Monday 1 November 2010

1.11.10 Weight A Minute

Watch out for weird weights, as the cunts in charge of marketing fuck with our minds and con us on the sly.  Prices may go up to give manufacturers and retailers more profit, although probably more likely is that the weight of the thing you're buying is a bit less than you thought.  Worse, the two approaches are not mutually exclusive!

Let us take the humble Milky Way, 'the snack you can eat between meals without ruining your appetite'.  It's no cuntin' wonder it doesn't ruin your appetite!  There's fuck all left of it!  The declared weight of the 'snack' is an amazing 21.9g

Has that sunk in?  That's right, not 20g or 25g, and most certainly not as big as it used to be, but a fuckin' stupid 21.9 grams of non-filling, non-healthy fluff not so much wrapped in chocolate, but skimmed in a sliver of fat-reduced, tasteless brown stuff, for which the cunts now expect 22 pence.  Anyway, back to the weight issue; how and why was it decided that a unit of Milky Way would be 21.9 grams?  Now, you actually get less than one fuckin' gram for a penny.

Curly Wurly - 26 grams.  We all know of course that 26 is a number of great significance, and appears as a standard measure in many spheres; let me think - yes, it's the number of weeks in half a year, it's half a deck of cards, it's the IQ of the cunt who decided a Milky Way needed to be 21.9g. 

It's not just confectionary, of course.  A carton of mince at 730g, gammon at 1.1kg ???  4 slices of ham at £1.50 or 10 slices for £3.00.  At face value, this suggests that the larger pack offers two-and-a-half times as much for just twice the price - but NO.  Closer inspection reveals the 4 slices weigh 140g, 35g per slice.  But the larger pack is 300g, so just 30g per slice.  So, it's NOT two extra slices free by buying the larger packet, it's 20g, so not even two thirds of a slice.  Mind games!

Beware - look at the weights.

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