The last heat was as dire as ever in respect of the presentation by Vernon and Gabby, yet the standard of diving was better than in the three preceding heats. It's rather silly for ITV to saddle us with some weak divers for three weeks and then to have a final heat where three of the contestants were better than some who'd already got through!
There were some typically awful lines delivered by the worst double act since Bruce and Tess:
"Hooray for some diving." [Vernon]
"Polyanna put the kettle on; that was fantastic." [Gabby]
Jo Brand didn't want to be left out, so managed an odd comment after Jenny Eclair had dived:
"You looked like a cheeky, bouncing prawn."
So, Richard Whitehouse MBE got through, along with Austin Healey. Una Foden did a dive better than that of Michaela Strachan (who got through in the first heat) and Polyanna Woodward didn't even make the Splash Off, despite a great dive from the top board. What a mess - a bit like the underwhelming crap served up by the 'display team' while the 123 votes were counted and added to the judges' scores. I wondered if this was the same group of 123 people who'd been asked to decide upon the beneficial effects of L'Oreal's SkinPerfection (as endorsed by Cheryl Tweedy in the break) with 71% of them [88] being pleased with the effects. It seems the world is directed by such low numbers of people these days.
Vernon told us that in the semi finals, "Things are gonna be on another level". There's me thinking it will still be 3m, 5m, 7.5m and 10m boards.
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