Bouncing
Novak Djokovic is adept at playing tennis, and whatever the result of the Wimbledon final, he will be No.1 in the world ranking on Monday. He will also maintain his top position for ball bouncing. Today, in his match with Tsonga, his ball bouncing ahead of serving was in good shape. He was typically taking 15 bounces in his preparations, although this little ritual sometimes included more bounces. I certainly clocked a 22-bounce lead up to a serve. This is taking things too far. In a five set match, he will serve for up to 30 games, and 200 points. For a split of two thirds first-serve-success and one third needing a second serve, and at 15 bounces per serve average, then the spectators will be watching someone bounce a ball 4000 times. That's not entertainment!
Underwear
The game of tennis should feature excitement as players use racquets to hit a ball over the net. The game is not really enhanced by having to watch players picking underpants away from a sweaty arse. Rafael Nadal disagrees, of course, and insists on being the one player who has it as an essential part of his game. No passage of play can be undertaken without the end result being a requirement to adjust his underwear. He clearly needs some help; perhaps Gok should be called in.
Balls
Unfortunately it is the case that in many walks of life, people push things a bit further than necessary. In the world of shaving, we have moved from a single blade to multiple blades - I think we are up to five now, with a battery and glide strip. In tennis, ball boys and girls were once upon a time charged with retrieving balls and dispensing them to speed things up. A server will require one or two balls to complete the manoeuvre (excluding the occasional net cord affecting things) and so players used to take two balls (although women often took/take one at a time). These days, things have moved on. For a while, the convention has been to get the ball boys to supply three, piss about deciding which of the three identical balls is of no use, and then to drop it and tap it away so that it has to be retrieved by the ball boy. This abuse of the facility is annoying, and is simply a pointless ritual that shows the stupid little mind games that players adopt. Today, the stakes were raised, when I saw players on more than one occasion raising their expectations. Four were apparently needed a few times today, to give that extra bit of choice before going for the two that were the most attractive. Where will it end?
Towels
Years ago, the change of ends in tennis was a chance for the players to grab a brief rest, have a drink and wipe away a bit of sweat with a towel. Then things moved on when players started to take a towel with them on their long journeys to each end of the tennis court. They would leave it at the back of the court, whether on a vacant chair or on the ground. It meant that in particularly long games, they could have a quick wipe; it was understandably a useful step for times when a game went to the 'deuce' stage many times. However, today the game is a joke, as players are taking the piss and abusing the ball boys. It seems it is now necessary for some players to have a wipe after each and every point. What a pathetic ritual. A quick 'point of the finger' or 'nod of the head' alerts the ball boy to come running with the towel so the player can wipe nothing from an eyebrow, forehead, mouth or bicep. Today, Andy Murray and Rafael Nadal were both displaying very well the silly practice that is quite simply annoying and unnecessary for 90% of the time.
Grunts
The grunting at Wimbledon is intolerable. What's amazing is that the men are expected to run around for hours in matches of up to five sets, yet their grunting is at a lower level than the women, who shriek, grunt and whine in a nauseating manner. Sharapova will, in tomorrow's final, make a racket while swinging her racquet. Something needs to be done about this pathetic practice. Tennis has become an arena for players to display weird behaviours. OCD is rife.
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