29.6.12 Ball Boys

The approach of tennis players has sunk to depths which I am appalled at.  I apologise in advance for talking about 'ball boys' when there are of course girls who do the same job, but for ease of communication, let's keep things simple.

When did a 'ball boy' become a 'Towel Boy' then?  It seems the retrieval of balls is just one of the duties of ball boys these days, and their main occupation involves handing a towel to a cunt who's not really in need of one, but is expecting help so that a miniscule amount of sweat can be smeared.  The players are now so fucking trapped in the rituals of playing tennis that it is obligatory for there to be a request - in fact a fucking expectation - that a ball boy will run forward with a towel.  Fucking madness, in my book.  In past times, there was ample time for players to collect themselves, have a drink, eat a banana, and meditate, because every two games played results in a change of ends, and a changeover rest of 2 minutes.  How come it's necessary now for players to demand a towel is brought to them between points, so they can pretend to wipe away gallons of sweat?

Abuse of ball bays is now commonplace.  Apparently it is standard practice for players (mostly male players) to require three tennis balls.  We all know that there are two required per serve, to cater for the first serve being a fault.  However, before commencing the ritual of bouncing the cunts 17 times, player have to inspect the balls first - and they need three to choose from.  Yes, ball boys are now required to furnish players with three tennis balls.  It then takes ten seconds for each player to assess the yellow spheres.  They decide which of the three looks most like the cuntish, deranged and lunatic half-brother of Pol Pot, before discarding it and forcing the ball boy to pick it up again.  Cunting liberty or what ? ! ? ! ?

I am waiting for the next logical development, which entails a ball boy giving head (not 'Head' as in the racquet manufacturer!) to a prima donna player.  Let's face it, if the ball boys are already fussing over extra balls, and helping players get rid of some extra sweat when the player gives a flick of the hand to require attention, we're close to a full hand job.  Already the ball boys manage to hold (cup) balls with aplomb.  Maybe their skills will in future need to be honed, so they can shuffle (?) better than a croupier!

Will Nadal next year decide it's the ball boys' job to unpick his underpants from the crack of his arse?  Who knows!

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