- Why the fuck do those bods in cars wear hi-viz jackets - the bods that sit in fucking cars, undertaking some sort of pointless survey? We've all seen them, wasting their lives, and collating useless information. What the hell are they surveying anyway? How many cars use a roundabout? Whether my car is clean? All bollocks, and if you stay in your car, fuck off with the hi-viz wearing approach! If you wear such a vest, then get out of the fucking car, and locate yourself where there might actually be some sort of need for you to be seen.
- When was the last time you bumped into someone? I mean literally, not as in 'met them'. We so rarely 'bump into' people. Also, why do 'twists and turns' have to come as a double act? What's wrong with allowing them some independence?
- I am wondering whether David Silva, the Spanish footballer, ever feels like he's second best . . . .
- On Monday, last week, the TV guide showed an entry for 'Gok Cooks Chinese' on Monday. I was so disappointed that the words could not have been printed very slightly out of order, to read: "Gok Wan serves up sum dim dishes."
- The police are often cuntish in their approach, and this quality very well displayed during a sting operation to catch speeding motorists in Lancashire. The fuckers issues 20 tickets to drivers who flashed to warn other drivers of the police presence. Talk about two-faced cuntin shite! If the aim of speed cameras and speed traps is to 'educate' drivers and help them to drive slower and with more awareness, a hint from fellow drivers to reduce their speed is hardly unhelpful. So, it proves completely that the cops just wanted tickets and fines - to fuck people off, and manipulate figures on productivity. Cunts.
- Russell Brand is a complete, prize twat. His whinge about his mum being upset by Graham Norton's questions about his split from Katie Perry was truly pathetic. If he thinks he's entitled to some sort of reverence, then he can piss off. You can't have your cake and eat it, Russell. You have so often been truly out of order, and I am completely dumbfounded that you can seriously expect some sort of special treatment! On another matter, I feel let down by the Dalai Lama, who has in effect endorsed Russell Brand through his association with him in the last couple of weeks. Shame on you, DL.
- £300 for some wellies? Fucking madness. Kate, get it sorted, you're falling down on the 'keeping in touch' front if you think that spending this much on wellington boots is a good example to be setting. I use the term 'spending' in the sense that's I'd be surprised if the wellies were not actually given to you so that you could become a walking marketing campaign.
- Halifax adverts - could those cunts for once NOT sing?
- I see there's an offer at Morrisons on Coca Cola - for the 2 Litre bottles, it's buy one get one free. However, this fantastic offer that in effect makes bottles cost 99p each has to be tempered by the terms and conditions. Yes, there is a limit per customer of just 18 bottles. So, each person is "only" entitled to buy thirty fucking six litres of Coke. If Mrs MWSC and Junior accompanied me, we could no doubt purchase 54 bottles - 108 litres. How mean of Morrisons to be so stingy!
- The eleven-date Voice tour has been axed - no surprise there then. Apparently there's been a lack of ticket sales. Fuck me, it was bad enough watching it all on TV free of charge! Paying money to see shite was never going to work.
- Why the fucking hell is there a limitless supply of companies trying to encourage us all to claim refunds regarding the mis-selling of PPI. Payment Protection Insurance was of course mis-sold here and there, but as these days our socienty HAS to be littered with thick cunts who count as 'victims' there's a drive to help them claim - or as many of the adverts state, "WIN". The adverts for Renaissance are endorsed by Roy Walker. Pardon me, Roy, but what the fuck's it got to do with you? You're not alone though in whoring yourself to commercial entities who want to encourage claims and collect fees, because alongside the PPI adverts shwoing people cheering with hands in the air saying "I've won", there's Esther Rantzen helping us decide what to do regarding personal injury: "Should I claim for my injury?" Esther is of course "sorry to learn etc etc" before her help points us in the direction of too fucking right we should claim for every cuntin penny and beat up the establishment because it's always someone else's fault. Society is completely fucked to fuck!
- Why to TV weather forecasters want to chit-chat and encroach on lives with suggestions? When I want a cuntin forecaster to play a part in my life, I'll marry one, or run one down and serve a manslaughter sentence. Until then, after a forecast for the weekend, I do not want to hear "whatever you're doing, enjoy yourselves" as a parting gesture. If I am going to a funeral and I have a laugh, I'll refer the deceased person's family to the forecaster if they think I rolled about laughing just a tad too much.
- Before I changed my TV aerial to one with enough funny-shaped prongs to catch freeview signals, I felt I was missing out on some channels, especially ITV2. Having had four or five months to consider the channel, I can confirm that, on balance, and after taking all aspects into consideration, it is fucking crap.
- Labour finally admits (half-heartedly) that its policy on immigration for the thirteen years between 1997 and 2010 was wrong. Hmmm . . . so where does that leave us now? Well, basically in a position that's fucked to (United) Kingdom come. Yes, the effects are of course irreversible, and the consequences for all parties (except 'political') are that we are overloaded and strained in many respects, including the demands placed upon education, welfare, the NHS, housing, employment - in fact most things. Gradual change and integration helps both the country and the immigrants themselves, and the end result for all is positive. Gluts of anything are not good, and tend to make things worse. Labour is a cunting joke. Admitting afterwards that it screwed the country over, manipulated the make-up of society and potential voting patterns, became deluded over its views on social responsibility, equality and human rights, and simply lied, is not the action of a party that is claiming resounding success or any right to adopt a moral highground position. Saying sorry afterwards does not excuse the mistake, or reduce its significance! "Oops, I just reversed over your three-year-old who was fucking about in my driveway on her plastic pedal car," is not going to endear you to your neighbour, and a "sorry" after many years is unlikely to lead to an invite to the next barbecue!
- Kelly Brook was in the papers this week, as ever. I saw one photo of her next to Katherine Jenkins, and she was not (KB, that is) posing and/or in underwear or skimpy clothing. Ms Brook gets far too much space in newspapers, and with nauseating regularity. Until this week, every entry has shown her to be pointless in the extreme, and the only reason she's featured has been some editorial decision to show a supposedly pretty woman's figure. Now things have got even worse - if she was pointless IN a bikini, she can only be even more pointless (I am not sure there's a level lower than pointless, though) when she's in normal clothing. Notice to editors: Find someone else, please!
- Good news for anyone who wants money and doesn't want to be ripped off by Wonga. There's a great deal on 12-month loans from Pounds To Pocket, a company which will advance money at the stonkingly good interest rate of 278% APR. That'll solve a lot of problems, eh? Somehow, though, I suspect it'll cause rather more!
- Why the fuck does Marisota discriminate so blatantly against slim people, and cater for sizes 12-32? The TV adverts seem to applaud women within the 12-32 size range, with garments in eleven sizes between 12 and fucking fat. Meanwhile, the size 8 and size 10 women are ignored. Is Marisota trying to encourage the consumption of cream cakes and applaud largeness? This is irresponsible, and the message being sent out is pathetic. Is 'below size 12' the new definition of anorexic then? If I were female, I'd boycott the company, unless of course I happened to be smaller than a 12 and would have no fucking choice in the matter!
- I have decided that smugness is epitomised by Fiona Bruce, such is her tone and demeanour. In a similar way, I associate silence with Chery Cole/Tweedy, since she's rarely found to be making any sort of noise when 'singing'.
There you have it, my weekly round-up.
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