Friday, 1 June 2012

1.6.12 May - Quotes of the Month

1st Place - "They set out; they achieved to be in that top four."  [Alan Shearer]

2nd Place - "What's the definition of 'foraged'?  Is it that some cunt's collected it in a wicker basket?"  [TMWSC, watching Great British Menu]

3rd Place - "I feel I have to wear heels because I need to be a bit more grown up now that I'm going to university."  [Debbie]

4th Place - "She's got a face like a rhombus."  [TMWSC]

5th Place - "Have you got a killer allergy you don't know about?"  [ Daily Mail}

6th Place - "The trouble with wellies is that they never actually fit properly - unless you're three yoears old."  [TMWSC]

7th Place - "Still a muggy sticky old feel."  [Sian Lloyd, on weather forecast]

8th Place - "Let's get the boys on the baize; when he's good he's on fire - it's Steven Maguire."  [Compere at the World Snooker Championships]

9th Place - "She looks like a turn in a vacuum pack."  [TMWSC, ref a woman pulling a face on Come Dine With Me]

10th Place - "Look what I put my hair through - Mondays it's straight, Wednesdays it's curly."  [Liv Tyler, in a pained and pathetic voice on a Pantene advert, whining that she's got it so fucking tough]

11th Place - "I think visitors will find that there is plenty to see."  [Gallery Director, Ralph Rugoff, commenting on the display that includes invisible paintings - some with invisible ink and some which were just blank paper in a frame]

12th Place - Great British Menu Selection

(a)  "It looks aesthetic on the eye."

(b)  "Little tiny baby strawberries."  [Small then, eh?]

(c)  "If it fails we could end up with a disaster."  [Fucking obvious]

(d)  "Very tailor-maid and quite unique."  [A bit different then, eh?]

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