Tuesday 6 January 2015

6.1.15 Outstanding Quotes of the Month


Having stopped posting my Quotes of the Month a while ago, I find I've got some oddments that need disposing of.  I am thus removing them from my cluttered life by listing a collection of them below.




In fairness, she can't do much with that chin line - Steph on Gogglebox, in reference to Judy Murray on Strictly Come Dancing.

I wouldn't like him no matter how many limbs he had - Mrs MWSC regarding a most annoying contestant on Pointless, the one without legs who participated in Splash last year.

That's poor for any international nation - Andy Townsend talking nonsense again.

They couldn't have no complaints - Alan Shearer, thick as ever.

Fucking foraging; I'm not a truffle - TMWSC, after Larry (the Basset Hound) decided to launch himself on to the sofa and start sniffing and foraging in the vicinity.

You're confusing 'American Smooth' with 'American Stiff' - Bruno Tonioli to Judy Murray on Strictly Come Dancing.

With no make-up, she's really quite ugly; she's like a rhino without a horn - TMWSC regarding the very awful Gemma Collins.

Dyson also confirmed there will be discounts of more than £100 on some hoovers - Daily Mail, not understanding the Dyson/Hoover/Vacuum side of things and showing vacuum-like heads.

All the people around me are more better than I am - Pharrell Williams, proving ignorance with superlative prowess.

I know you are there and I will get you - Mrs MWSC to a fly, while holding a swatter, in the style of Liam Neeson.

It's a wailing marathon, isn't it; where's a harpoon when you need one? - TMWSC regarding the Sam Bailey & Nicole Scherzinger duet on X-Factor.

She was an honour to share the stage with - Nicole showing appalling grammar.

It's never quarter-to-twelve!  Oh, it's five to nine - Mrs MWSC trying to establish the time without the aid of glasses.

He's got to make them more harder to beat - Phil Neville.  Surely there's never been a more annoying person to listen to on a football show, and only Alan Shearer can be accused of greater illiteracy.

Once the seat belt signs go on, the toilets will be locked and prohibited to use - Ryanair cabin person making a last comment on use of the toilets before landing, and displaying no understanding of the English language.

It's the cunt of the paint world - a friend's comment on the black paint she was trying to apply to railings.

Find a wing-backed chair and dribble - an abusive comment by TMWSC to the painter friend.

Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead - TMWSC somehow creating a tongue twister while engaged in general conversation.

Greenwich is the epicentre of the seafaring world - idiot TV presenter, proving idiocy.

One of us are going - Jimmy Bullard on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, ignoring use of English.

I found "Men In Black Three tomorrow at seven on Four too much" - TMWSC regarding the TV announcer's confusing numbers attack.

Everyone in the audience were given a number - Stephen Mulhern, thinking that everyone is (are?) plural.

He's got a touch of the Dereks about him - Mrs MWSC regarding a pedestrian looking bemused, in the style of Derek.

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