The latest farcical move regarding airports has come from Ashford in Kent. Lydd Airport is now known as London Ashford. This is quite simply preposterous. Already there is lunacy regarding the association of airports with London, demonstrated by the distances of each from central London.
MILES FROM CENTRAL LONDON?
London Heathrow Airport - 16 miles from central London
London Gatwick Airport - 28 miles from central London
London Luton Airport - 34 miles from central London
London Stansted Airport - 39 miles from central London
London City Airport - 8 miles from central London
London Southend Airport - 40 miles from central London
London Oxford Airport - 61 miles from central London
London Ashford Airport - 73 miles from central London
I always thought it was taking the fucking piss when Luton decided it was "London Luton". That now seems a tame move indeed, not least because Stanstead adopted the 'London' tag with relative ease despite its being 39 miles away. Perhaps it was naivety that led us to think that the 40 mile radius might serve as some sort of barrier to the piss taking, and that Southend would be the final piss-taker. Any such theory was blown out of the water when some stupid cunts thought Oxford close enough to be deemed an extension of London. For a city as globally well known as Oxford to relinquish its identity and individuality by allowing its airport to be tagged as a 'London' one is simply opportunistic, daft and idiosyncratic. At least Cambridge (55 miles) has resisted the urge to fuck itself over with a new name, despite easy qualification, under the revised toss-pot rules. Maybe Peterborough will have a go instead?
Now we have the laughable situation whereby Ashford is being added to the list. At 73 miles distant, I suspect any visitors landing there will be slightly surprised and disappointed that they are a long way fucking short of Trafalgar Square! Whatever next? It's only 99 miles from London to fucking Calais!
Well, as it happens, I have some possibilities prepared for you. If the 61 miles to Oxford could be surpassed by the 73 miles to Ashford, then logic says that other places are but a step away.
FURTHER / FARTHER OPTIONS?
London Southampton Airport - 74 miles from central London
London Ipswich Airport - 76 miles from central London
London Peterborough Airport - 77 miles from central London
London Gloucester Airport - 91 miles from central London
London Calais Airport - 99 miles from central London
Of course it's not just London that seems to act as a magnet when it comes to naming conventions. We've already had the pathetic adjustment to East Midlands Airport, since is was deemed necessary to tag it to Nottingham, and produce NEMA as the silly style for referencing it. After three years, the twats in charge went for another change, to East Midlands Airport - Nottingham, Leicester, Derby. What complete bollocks. I suspect the same lunacy was shared in meetings further north, when in 2004 the idiots in charge considered Teesside Airport was inappropriate, and opted for Durham Tees Valley Airport. This was despite the airport actually being just four miles from the centre of Darlington. Even Middlesbrough and Stockton were dismissed as names when they are just nine miles away. Clearly someone thought that Durham 'sounded better', despite it being 24 miles north. I wonder if it is a coincidence that the airport has been in decline ever since, with the 900k passengers in 2005 dropping to 160k in 2013.
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