2.7.14 Wimbledon Tennis

What with the World Cup taking up most spare time, I have failed to see any tennis.  Wimbledon doesn't count every fourth year, and this is such a year.  I can't believe that it's already got to the stage where the semi-finalists are known.  Murray, Sharapova, Serena Williams - all out, apparently.  I am not sure there's much to see anyway, and with Murray's exit today, I suspect the alleged 'debate' about whether it's Henman Hill or Murray Mount will die a death.

I am not actually sorry about missing the tennis, though, because I have managed to avoid numerous things that fuck me off immensely, such as:

• Players needlessly bouncing balls for ages before serving
• Players asking for a towel to wipe their faces EVERY fucking point
• Players religiously asking for 3 balls and then discarding 1 before serving

• Nadal digging around and picking his shorts & pants material from his arse crack
• Tracy Austin's horrendous voice with a tone that drives one to consider suicide
• Judy Murray

Judy, a bit heavy with the makeover

• Being told the fucking obvious by commentators and pundits
• Cunting grunting
• Non-Royals in the Royal Box [and that's not a euphemism]
• Tracy Austin
• Bananas
• The painfully slow build up to a serve
• Net cord calls that mean start-a-fuckin-gain
• Sue Barker
• Tracy Austin
• Virginia Wade
• People who can't clap properly
• The suggestion that ball girls and ball boys should now be "ball kids" - fuck off! 
• People going "Whoooooaaaaaahhh" as the Hawkeye result arrives
• Robinsons, which is shit
• Pathetic references to 'SW19'
• The BBC's up-its-own-arseness

I would only be persuaded to watch tennis in a World Cup year if the spectacle was a bit more of interest.  Maybe the dress code could do with an overhaul?

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