There are, I understand, 640 stickers to collect in the Panini World Cup 2014 album. I also believe the price of the stickers is 50p per packet, with only 5 in each one. It takes no genius to work out that the very best result possible is to purchase 128 packets of stickers and find that the alleged 'randomness' is perfectly in place to produce 640 stickers without any duplication at all. This would mean that the album was filled at a cost of £64.00.
Now let's be sensible about it, and concede that this modelling is so far fetched it's akin to believing that Ed Miliband has a brain, that Nick Clegg is not away with the fairies, and that Alex Salmond is not hell bent on causing mayhem and being a complete twat. So in the real world, there is simply no way to avoid numerous duplication, and the 'swap' scenario is essential if the fucking album is not to cost £64,000 to fill. Let us assume there is indeed no imbalance in the production of stickers. This would mean a mathematical likelihood of friends having spares of the ones you need, while being able to offer them stickers they need from your own pile of duplicates. Sadly, there will most certainly be an unevenness in distribution, such that the circle of friends will need to be extensive, possibly dispersed by some considerable distance, and able to maintain the same buying power so decent numbers of swaps are possible.
When I was a kid, everyone had a surplus of a few particular stickers, and no cunt in the county had the last few needed to get the album near to completion. By the time there's even a sniff of success, the World Cup has finished, Germany has annoyed everyone with its solid performance, the England side has used 37.4 excuses for being shit, and in the studio everyone has exhausted the argument that whilst English players are less technically gifted, they have 'bulldog spirit' to counter the lack of ability. The unused albums will of course be disposed of; I saw hundreds in the local Co-op, and shuddered to think how many hundreds of thousands of the cunts have been produced, trying to entice idiots to spend 10p per sticker of each player. Sheer lunacy, waste, pathetic commercial nonsense, and totally unnecessary.
I reckon that the most talented and networked individual on the planet could probably complete the album for £100, but that most normal people will spend rather more than that! Of course, buying a book for £20 afterwards will achieve so much more all round.
5th June 2014 Update
Thank you to Swiss mathematicians, who have this week announced an average cost of completing the collection at £450.
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