JetAway
It seems there is no end to the appalling grammar that now litters the media. On a recent flight back from Spain, I was trying to pass time by reading JetAway, the Jet2.com magazine, and a few pages were given over to Miranda Hart. I shuddered at the bold red extract and the uselessness of the writer in managing to use "it's" twice in the sentence for two different purposes - one completely wrong. This common fuck-up of using "it's" in a possessive sense is a pathetic schoolboy error - on this occasion made by someone called Mike MacEacheron.
Now, without knowing the name of the offender, I'd have to move on with my life and chalk this up as the 76,456th example of this error to have crossed my path. However, I can confirm that Mike MacEacheron is none other than the Editor and Co-publisher of JetAway, and so there can be no excuse whatsoever. How the hell does one get a job as an Editor or as a Publisher (let alone a combined role) without being competent in the English language?
At the beginning of the magazine, there's a small picture of Mike and some further writing attributed to him - containing "different to" instead of "different from" and a sentence quite unnecessarily starting with "And". In view if Mike's incompetence in his own article and introduction, it will come as no surprise that the magazine contained a number of other errors. What's difficult to know is whether there was any responsibility for the adverts placed in the magazine; it may have been up to the advertiser to have final say, but I'd still expect the publication (ie. Mike) to highlight basic errors, in some vague attempt to keep up standards. Still, with not a standard in sight, this was obviously not the case.
In an advert for Stockeld Park, there was reference to "Magical Gift Emporiums", as the correct plural (emporia) is a word that would clearly cause rioting if used in JetAway. For the Crab Manor advert, I read: "Its talented team serve up a wide range of dishes" and whilst this was clear of any misuse on the it's/its front, the claim managed to make the word "team" plural with use of "serve" instead of "serves". Then there was the further statement of: "Each of the 17 rooms are individually designed" which fucked up by using "each" to require a singular verb ("is) rather than "are".
The Daily Telegraph
I think it's time to move away (or should that be JetAway) from this publication, and look at the Daily Telegraph, which is far from perfect on the grammar front. Indeed, errors were clearly on display when I read the edition on 1st November, with Paul Howard fuelling my annoyance. Paul Howard is "Sports Writer of the Year", so it said at the top of the piece, so I had hoped for some sort of quality in his writing. Sadly I was let down. Paul managed to make the same tired mistakes to do with mixing singular and plural forms of words and verbs, and in doing so, spread the gospel of "fucking shit grammar everywhere". So-called professionals have a duty to get things right; by fucking up while holding what might be considered an exulted position in journalism, Paul is helping others to get things wrong by taking his lead.
"The team embellished by Ronaldo are more modestly constructed." Teams are, a team is - it's not difficult really! "The best Real Madrid sides have been collections of world beaters. This one rely on the consistent pummelling power of a counter-strike." What the fucking hell is this tripe? The Sports Writer of the Year is clearly hopeless and relies (or should that be 'rely', Paul?) on the readers' ignorance to get away with poor work. "The 1950s and 1960s gang who dominated European football were built around not only Di Stefano and Puskas but Francisco Gento, Raymond Kopa and Jose Santamaria." More disharmony and contradiction. Sadly, the award of 'Sports Writer of the Year' holds no merit when the writing is full of mistakes.
The Sun
The Sun is of course littered with trash and mistakes every day. Sadly, though, there is no proper checking on the part of contributors, or how else would the following have been allowed to go to print? If I were in charge at BMW or Toyota, I think I'd make sure the idiots at The Sun were kept in line and stopped from relaying nonsense.
"Toyota's top European boss says the firm are looking to build on the success of its GT86 Coupe." Well, this manages to make the word "firm" plural by using "are", but eight words later the firm has become singular again with use of "its" instead of "their". So, inconsistency is also evident. In the next paragraph, the firm retained its singular status. "Chief Executive Didier Leroy told me the firm is studying a feasibility report on building a new sports car in a joint venture with BMW."
Vauxhall / Evans Halshaw
In the waiting area at the local dealership, I was forced to while away two and a half hours while my car was serviced last week. There was a TV to provide a distraction from the awful background noise (a weird mixture of muzak, air conditioning/heating, talking, echoes and car noises). The TV was on just loudly enough so that it couldn't be heard properly. Behind the seats was a display, a simple one that was no more than two tyres in front of a sign.
The suggestion was that buying a new tyre was preferable to being prosecuted for having a tyre with insufficient tread, which could mean a hefty fine and "3 Points On Your License". How someone hadn't managed to avoid using the verb form rather than the noun form is amazing. I would have pointed this out, but to whom? There would most definitely have been a lack of interest, let alone proper acknowledgement that there was indeed any error.
British Red Cross
Below the photograph of two children, in a full-page appeal advert following Typhoon 'Haiyan', I read: "£10 could buy a tarpaulin to shelter a family who has lost their home." What a muddle this was! Neither one thing nor the other, this muddled and grammatically incorrect effort demonstrates further the ignorance and/or lack of care with the English language in the media. The FRSB [FundRaising Standards Board] clearly doesn't include grammar in its vetting of actions and messages.
News Reporting
Radio and TV are awful these days, and grammar is deemed irrelevant; how else can the ghastly errors be explained?
"Number 10 also want them to provide more options."
"Spain do have the power to close the border."
Television
"ITV are offering you the chance to win."
"The family has voted and their king of the table is . . " [Iceland advert]
Sport
Apparently the plural of 'scrum' is 'scrum', as this is the only explanation for Jonathan Davies talking shit:
"The Tongan scrum have caused them problems."
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