Thursday 15 March 2012

15.3.12 It Doesn't Fucking Rhyme!

I am severely suffering as a result of the bollocks churned out by the Co-operative.  Let's us put to one side the completely outrageous pricing policy that allows customers to be ripped off, while the store tries to claim it is some sort of people's champion by being local and good value.  The few offers sprinkled about the place are rather overshadowed by the horrendous charges applied on other items.  BOGOF is less attractive when the basic charge for a single item is hiked by nearly 50% before the offer is taken into account.  Instead of concentrating on this aspect of the Cunt-op's approach, let's instead look at the terminology, and the pathetic attempt at rhyme.

"Good with food"

As a slogan, it wouldn't be that bad really.  However, they have employed a Scotsman to utter these words such that the first and last words rhyme.  Now, if this was a slogan for a fucking sawmill, it might work out okay, because "Good with wood" is not half bad!  Alas, the Cunt-op does not sell wood, it sells (amongst other things) 'food' - a word that rhymes with mood and rude.  This flawed and cuntish pronunciation means we all have to groan at a contrived load of shit.

Two weeks ago, one of the awful, twee adverts appeared before me, and I endured some crap about dishwasher tablets.  There was a half-price offer for Finish at the Cunt-op (though of course this was half of 1.4 times the normal price).  At the end of the advert, the geezer came out with the "shoulda coulda woulda" shit - but Finish is NOT food!  How the fuck can "Good with food" be the conclusion of an advert for fucking Finish?

Other News

a) Double Decker - 60p until a week ago when it went overnight to 69p.  A 15% unwarranted increase.  Co-operative - Cunts with chocolate  

b) Multi-pack Double Deckers - Pack of 4 for £1.  The offer has been running for ten days, but there have been NONE in stock at all [but plenty of the 69p individual ones - no cuntin' surprise].  There have however been Flakes available in the multi-packs.  Fuck off; if there's an offer on, stock the stuff, you phonies.  Co-operative - Conniving Cunts

c) Pasta Watch - Morrisons is selling 500g Pasta Twists at 30p, for anyone interested (after my previous posts under 'Pasta Watch').  We're unlikely to see a return to the 17p, I think.

d) I purchased this week from Morrisons a 'pouch' of coffee, as I was not in need of another jar.  On the reverse of the packaging, a strange logo is stamped, which is basically an arrow in a circular format, with the point in a heart shape.  This conjures up a 'love recycling' feeling, most probably exactly what was intended.  The recyclenow.com site is also included, to promote good practice.  Below the design is some further tiny writing:

FOIL LAMINATE
not currently recycled

What a fucking pointless tasteless joke - at least the coffee isn't tasteless.  We live in a barmy world.

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