I struggle with the muppets who hold down jobs in town planning departments. Close to my house is the lay-by which was a few months ago half filled in. It was made narrower by having the depth of the path increased, despite the depth of the path already being over fifteen feet! So, buses are no longer able to pull off the main road, and allow cars to pass without obstruction. Instead, and in line with the new dashed lines in yellow, the buses have to stop half in the lay-by and half in the road. This makes little sense, considering there is a pedestrian crossing five yards in front of the bus, and it also happens to be on the crest of a hill. WTF?
Seven hundred yards the other way, there is a width restriction - what is in effect a simple extension of the pavement - and this is used as the point for school children to cross the road under the supervision of a lollipop lady. Originally the muppets sanctioned the building of such an unnecessary encroachment on the road from both sides/pathways. The result that the gap left was so small, it compromised the ability of lorries to get through. So, one was removed - but NOT the one that extended the path on the side of the bus stop. That's right, the road-narrowing piece of pavement that causes the constriction is just before the bus stop, but a bus cannot stop in the designated (more yellow dashed lines) space without its arse sticking out into the middle of the fucking carriageway, as it has to negotiate the our-foot piece of extra path. Highly stupid considering the school crossing requirement. Fucking twats.
One mile further on, I was following the Arriva bus that stopped at the bus stop, which happened to be positioned at exactly the place where the central road markings became double white lines. The twats at the council obviously think it is appropriate to stop overtaking while allowing buses to completely block one carriageway. They must be on Crystal Meth.
Approaching Middlesbrough, I was forced to stop on the A66 at one of the intersections previously serviced by a roundabout. It seems no one is now trusted to drive a car without receiving instructions via traffic lights on what to do and when to do it. I had time enough while stationary to count the poles in the ground that supported lights for cars and pedestrians (hardly any of those, by the way) and eighteen was the 'golf course' sized jungle that had been constructed after the demolition of one circular hump. I watched, after my counting exercise, as no cunting cars came from one of the directions in the three-phase setting of red-amber-green, before eventually proceeding in a fucking straight line. Instead of a free-market system, we now had a regimented, untailored and inefficient dictatorship in the form of lights.
On Sunday I drove south on the M1 and was 'policed' by a Volvo. It was not a police car, but it was nevertheless dictating everything. N1 SHL was happy to hog the fast lane, and when the speed limit dropped to 50mph for what was a very long section (more roadworks to create concrete central reservations in place of metal barriers) he was adamant that 48mph entitled him to block progress for anyone else. Personalised registration, Volvo, older bloke, moving slowly, 'in the right' and 'in the fucking way' - it all added up to "nob".
I experienced further madness south of Milton Keynes, where the hard shoulder has become (in times of congestion) a fully operational lane for traffic, making the M1 a four-lane affair. In principle this is nothing new - for a while now we have seen cost-cutting measures and use of the hard shoulder instead of road widening. One day when you break down, and pull to the side of the road, let's hope for your sake that there isn't a 38-tonne gravel lorry doing 55mph as it ploughs into the back of you. Anyway, my gripe is not at this juncture about the use of a hard shoulder, but the fact that no cunt seems to want to use it!
The fast lane was overcrowded, as people sat behind wheels waiting to, and wanting to, go faster. In the middle lane, cars refused to move to the left, and were in fact making better progress on occasion, and so 'undertaking' cars in the fast lane. In the slow lane was to be found the smallest volume of cars and lorries, as no fucker wanted the aggro of being trapped. Suddenly, without any drop from the national speed limit, the overhead signs announced the existence of a fourth lane on the far left hand side. The prominent signs were ignored. I was in the fast lane and looked longingly at the empty space that presented itself. But I was unable to take advantage. This extra lane had nothing in it, making the four lanes a complete and utter reverse of what should in fact have been the case. Those in the original slow lane suddenly found space to their left, but decided they were not inclined to move over - why should they, everything was fine and there were not too many cars affecting them. Drivers in the middle and fast lanes were suddenly all annoyed at the lack of benefit transferred to anyone from the expensive lane, created from years of redevelopment plus disruption plus delay. Eventually I moved left and left again. Finally I moved to the far left, and was able to make progress. The new system thus encouraged a mirror image of what is expected under the highway code, and the fastest lane was the slowest extra lane. I can promise you that in about seven miles of tarmac I encountered (temporarily) just two cars, while the fast lane was clogged. Madness. Creating a lane is pointless if there is no thought as to what drivers may or may not do with it.
I did get some sense of satisfaction from seeing the lack of progress by a van [LD09 DVG] which was being driven by a cunt. I say this because the dangerous driving was horrendous to watch, as the vehicle intimidated cars in front, tailgating. Pulling in and out of the fast lane to gain progress, it has terrorised people for ages. As I turned off and joined the M25, I noticed I was level with the arsehole, despite my steady and relatively sedate style, while he was so manic. I will never forget GTN Plumbing on an 0161 number!
Slightly less dangerous, but alloying all the same, were the flying chips. As I joined the M4 from the M25, the blue van in front ejected a load of chips. I felt like a pilot who'd entered a flock of geese. The occupant(s) of EG02 0AZ should have found a bin later!
...
No comments:
Post a Comment