Boot them all into touch, Dermot, they are S'O Dreary
Hannah Barrett
Nicole: "My Hannah Banana Barrett."
Hannah: "I'm trying to work out why I'm not connecting with the audience. Nicole thinks people need to see my personality." [Shows how much Nicole knows, eh? Fuck all.]
Nicole: "It's such a dope feeling." [Twat.]
The performance was simply 'nearly average'. 2.8/10
Elf: "You came out fighting. A bit like Tina Turner. " [No, Louis! Not at all.]
Osbourne: "So good to see you enjoying your performance and having fun with it." [No, luv.]
Nicole: Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Y'all Shit Shit
Hannah: "I had fun with it. Hannah Banana is back."
Your fun is not my aim in life, Hannah. I would rather listen to something that sounds good, and you are not it. Also, if anyone else associated you with a banana, there'd be an outcry?
Luke
Louis: "I'm the only judge left with a full category." [Maybe, Elf, but categorically not with full faculties.]
Luke: "It felt so good knowing Seal thought I'd chose the right song choice." [You're making less sense than Louis, Luke.]
Average singing. 5.5/10
Osbourne: "If Keith Richards could sing, he'd sing like you. It was very organic performance. Stop laughing at me. That dirty man go home." [WTF? Complete and loopy embarrassment, you are.]
Barlow: "You've come back fighting this week, you really did." [No, singing, Gary - but only just.]
Nicole: "Your voice reminds me of your hair - it's organic, it's real, its grown through this competition but it's got just enough grit and dirt in it. Good jab." [You stupid fucking nob.]
Elf: "You made it your own." [You've outdone yourself with this unique comment, Louis.]
Sam Bailey
Good, as usual. 8.5/10
Barlow: "Just because you're a woman over thirty doesn't mean you're not going to sell records.
Shitsinger: "Butt Cheeks." [WTF? You demented twat.]
Sam: "I just went out there and made it my own." [Yawn.]
Rough Copy
Gaz: "You've gotta come out fighting." [Not singing, then, Gary?]
It was 'weak', 'rough', wimpy, 'insipid' or 'dodgy' - take your pick, as many as you like. 3/10
Nicole: "Your energy is so infectious. I was missing the chocolate. I don't want you to miss your 'souly' roots." [WTF? I thought you couldn't get more stupid, but seems there was still a way to go.]
Elf: "You tick every box." [You've outdone yourself again with this unique comment, Louis.]
Barlow: "We need you in this competition." [Your view, not mine, Barlow.]
Sam Callahan
Sam: "I wanna stand out in this competition, and I'm not gonna sit here and play it safe."
Singing 'Faith' by George Michael wasn't all bad - there were three occasions when there were a few seconds of complete silence - and this helped. It was lame. 2.8/10
Osbourne: "You look defeated." [And you look weird, luv.]
Gary: "You're not progressing as fast as the others."
Nicole: "I love a fighter, you're a fighter." [Not a singer or guitar player then, eh?]
Elf: "You give me 150% every week, you're the hardest working contestant, the girls are going to vote for you." [Thanks for nothing Louis.]
Tamera
Nicole: "I just need her to remember her lyrics." [Well, that would help.]
Very mediocre, with some vocal dubiousness, and forgot the lyrics; why do they keep making allowances for her that she simply doesn't deserve? Because it's a fix, of course, and they're told to be careful with comments. 4/10
Elf: "You made it your own." [You've outdone yourself again with this unique comment, Louis.]
Osbourne: "Tamara." [That's not her name, arsehole!]
Nicole: " This was a live show and you were living up there." [Unlike the matter between your ears, Nicole.]
Nicholas
Elf: "You have to make it your own."
Good. 8/10
Osbourne: "Sixteen years of age - I can't believe it." [Seventy-six years of age - I can believe it.]
Elf: "That was the vocal performance of the night."
...
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