1 - "I am guilty of lacking spacial awareness with an umbrella. In fact, I lack spacial awareness in general." [Jess]
2 - "It's eight inches from knuckle to nut." [Ex-World Champion at conkers, ref the length of the string]
3 - "It's like when bananas go rotten." [Jess, ref the broken toe of TMWSC]
4 - "You look like an epileptic chicken." [Mrs MWSC to TMWSC]
5 - "They can fuck right off to the end of the road." [TMWSC ref the Co-op and its pointless/minimal reductions on orange stickers]
6 - "I've expounded myself stupid today." [Sue, making no sense]
7 - "He was maraudering down the left hand side." [Naz Premji reporting on Final Score, meaning 'marauding']
8 - "I'm deeply unsuited to being the Speaker's wife." [Sally Bercow, who should have said "anyone's" rather than "the Speaker's"]
9 - "A bad day at the office." [Jason Mohammed on Final Score, using a shitty phrase when referring to Inverness CT losing 4-0 on a football pitch]
10 - "Every page has a sheen that's shinier than a shimmering shiny thing." [TMWSC referring to highly glossy, expensive and unnecessary junk mail]
11 - "All right, Edmund." [Mrs MWSC's witty Blackadder reference to TMWSC after hearing the above]
12 - "A load of shits talking shit about shit." [TMWSC, unimpressed]
13 - "A controversial Muslim-free school." [Radio newscaster fucking up the pronunciation when referring to a Muslim Free School]
14 - "It's not the hand of God, it's the fucking will power of Nel." [Nel]
15 - "Do you need any batteries or Halloween sweets today?" [Stupid fucking question (Answer - 'NO') at the Poundland checkout, to TMWSC]
16 - "Chicken wraps in papyrus paper." [Maggi advert on TV - 'papyrus paper' - twats!]
17 - "The accusation was labelled at him by Martin O'Neill." [Malky Mackay selecting 'labelled' instead of 'levelled']
18 - "Question marks last year about his fitness." [No, Alan Hansen, 'questions' not 'question marks', you nob!]
19 - "The question is, 'Did anyone touch this?' It doesn't look as if it did." [Gibberish from the Match of the Day commentator]
Strictly Come Dancing Special
S1 - "She's so on message, this girl." [Anneka Rice being at twat on SCD It Takes Two]
S2 - "This is a very characterful driven dance." [SCD It Takes Two shit comment]
S3 - "You came in for quite a bit of critique." [Zoe Ball managing to talk bollocks]
S4 - "Otherwise we wouldn't have much clothes on." [Deborah Meaden's partner]
David Coulthard F1 Special
F1 - "You normally pick up a whole bunch of grip." [Coulthard not speaking English]
F2 - "A whole bunch of time." [Coulthard not speaking English]
F3 - "It's not uncommon in Grand Prixs." [Coulthard adding an 's' to a French word needing no 's']
F4 - "You never know what form the various cars are going to be." [Coulthard not speaking English]
F5 - "He's done 49 laps on these set of typres." [Coulthard not speaking English]
Weather Special
W1 - "Here and there." [Non-specific shite confirming not-a-clue]
W2 - "In one or two spots." [Non-specific shite confirming not-a-clue]
W3 - "A rash of showers working through." [First airing of the new collective noun for showers]
W4 - "Quieter condition." [Simply shit]
W5 - "Thunderstorms easing down." ['Easing down?' WTF?]
W6 - "Heavy showers will pester the north and northeast." [Radio 4]
W7 - "Showers rattling along." [WTF?]
Grammar Special
G1 - "The sense of words are going to sink in." [Melvyn Bragg]
G2 - "When each of us were learning." [Supposedly clever person on Radio 4 with Melvyn Bragg]
G3 - "When you're texting, I don't need much details." [Reggie Yates]
G4 - "The doctor discovers what bacteria has grown." [Embarrassing Bodies voice-over]
G5 - "He thinks that is is everyone else on on TV who are the strange ones." [Anne Richardson in The Sun, regarding Karl Pilkington]
Worst Newspaper Headline
We got a Brazilian*
*It's a close shave but we wax Poles [The Sun - simply awful]
...
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