She's a sneer on leg. [TMWSC regarding Heather Mills]
They've not only looked a gift horse in the mouth, they've given it a full dental check-up. [Football reporter on Final Score]
Just because you paint stripes on a horse, it doesn't make it a zebra. [Waiter on Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares USA]
If she loses to a one-legged chick, she's never going to live it down. [Heather Mills on The Jump, totally misappropriating the word "chick" - and ignoring a more suitable four letter word]
A lot of these materials are already mellowing down. [Kevin McCloud talking shit, and adding a pointless preposition!]
The weather will quieten down after Wednesday and be drier, but it will stay cold. [Meteorologist Mark Wilson, introducing noise levels to his forecasting]
They're gutsing it out at the moment. [Commentator in the France v Scotland rugby match, talking in fantasy English]
Our semi's getting harder by the minute. [Davina McCall on The Jump semi-final]
So was Bonnie Tyler, you cunt! [TMWSC, after Bear Grylls said, on a TV trailer, "I'm looking for a hero"]
He's the one who's hugging the width. [Andy Townsend, making no sense as usual]
It's nice to beat a team that's in and around us. [Steve Bruce, using a cliche that makes no sense - how can Aston Villa be "in us"?]
We'll meet up afterwards by the swim pool. [Laura Hamilton, talking shit on A Place in the Sun: Home or Away and confirming limited use of the gene pool]
A lack of death is always helpful. [Mrs MWSC]
Wales have an eleven point lead in front. [Commentary on the 6 Nations rugby]
There may be flashing images and fruity language. [Continuity announcer on Channel 4, ahead of The Jump, introducing a new genre of speech]
He was flapping like a flightless bird. [Barry Davies, regarding JB Gill on The Jump]
She's like a fuckin' virus, isn't she? [Mrs MWSC, regarding Mel Giedroyc who was narrating Now You See It, one of her 12 jobs]]
He quit QPR on Tuesday after being told he would need replacements for both right and left knees. [Daily Mail article, suggesting Harry Redknapp's middle knee is okay! Or did this instead mean both the left ones and both the ones one the right?]
It's at times like this you want your big players to take the big penalties at the big moments. [Phil Neville talking shit, as usual]
He can put himself up with them type of players. [Phil Neville]
This weather front splashes its way through. [Tomasz Schafernaker]
You can see isobars squished together. [Tomasz Schafernaker]
There we see the sharpness of his feet. [Danny Murphy, trying to trump Phil Neville]
Based on the injuries we occurred. [Sam Allardyce having a go as well, and avoiding 'incurred']
You won't get him harrowing people down. [Trevor Sinclair, talking crap]
His pace and his quality is what really stood him out today. [Jason Roberts, talking bollocks]
Some of those showers will have a wintry flavour. [Sarah Keith-\Lucas giving a weather recipe!]
Ah, that's where fucking Friday went. [TMWSC when Mrs MWSC passed him a pair of socks from a holdall - a pair with 'Friday' written on them]
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