1 - "Is that Automatic Kitten?" [Sue S, referring to Atomic Kitten on The Reunion on TV]
2 - "Wristwear by Sekonda." [TV advert. Fuck off! It's a watch, not a bloody bangle!]
3 - "I'm a complete alpha male, but some people misinterpretate that." [Contestant on Come Dine With Me]
4 - "You can have that if you can get your tongue in there." [Sue S, ref custard in the serving dish given to Genie - Note: Genie is a dog]
5 - "Techniques is an overused term, by people who want to promote some shit." [TMWSC]
6 - "For some reason I'm verging towards Chile." [Contestant on In It To Win It]
7 - "We've had a lot of bad media." [Illiterate twat on Match of the Day]
8 - "So, Ireland lose that game of tennis." [Rugby commentator - Italy v Ireland]
9 - "I think last week set a very high barometer." [Rugby commentator, Six Nations competition]
10 - "I want something knocking on the door of special." [Greg Wallace, Masterchef]
11 - "Much better on the drizzle." [Greg, again, talking bollocks]
12 - "No, it's Battery Operated Dog." [TMWSC, answering Sue's question - see first quote]
13 - "Look, you can see it's minging all round the toes." [Sue S, ref second hand Crocs for sale on Ebay]
14 - "Tottenham defended unbelievable today." [Sol Campbell, avoiding an adverb]
15 - "It's been well cherished." [Twat on Flog It! qualifying 'cherished' without need]
16 - "GPS co-ordinants." [Thick twat on The Common Denominator]
17 - "Who's Pele? I thought it were a pasta sauce." [Thick twat again, being a Common Denominator]
18 - "Creator of an alternate universe." [Dell advert, which should have said 'alternative']
19 - "I've come for a little bit of tranquil peace and quiet." [Great British Menu]
20 - "I'm just redoing them again." [Great British Menu contestant, ref his second batch]
21 - "The sale of beefburgers have fallen to 47%." [Daily Mail website]
22 - "Y-Fronts are where you unravel your dick out of a hole." [TMWSC]
23 - "The funnyman is aiming to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for the most number of questions on a TV chat show." [Daily Mail TV Guide]
24 - "Roman General after Roman General have been despatched." [Kevin Day, Match of the Day 2]
25 - "It's nice to see a big hole that's supposed to be there!" [TMWSC]
26 - "On those used set of tyres." [Grand Prix commentator, displaying no awareness of grammar]
27 - "They need to be rootless." [Roy Keane, trying to say 'ruthless']
28 - "They are the type of game you need to get through." [Gary Neville, being inarticulate]
29 - "You've got a very strong lead." [An understatement by Nick on Countdown, regarding the 84-7 score]
30 - "We made it ourself." [One of the members of One Direction]
31 - "Round and round they go." [Scintillating commentary from Alan Dedicoat on the Lottery draw]
32 - "Not a lot gets past my arse." [Sue S]
33 - "How many's dead in there?" [Eric, asking about Casualty on TV, with morbid interest]
34 - "I'm not watching, I'm looking." [Eric, again, clarifying his TV activity]
35 - "It's almost incalcuble." [Illiterate narrator on The Queen]
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