1.8.12 Quotes of the Month - July

It was a very close run thing this month, with Jess and Faye matching each other at 4 entries each.

1st - "Between now and Christmas, I'm warming myself up by touching my eyeball."  [Jess - preparing for a switch to contact lenses]

2nd - "Is Cameroon the capital of Africa?"  [Faye]

3rd - "A little small round square box."  [Man on his mobile in Sainsbury's]

4th - "How tall are you in knowledge in your mind?"  [Jess, overly complicating a simple question]

5th - "We're always jumping out at you when we're at home."  [Faye, ref Charlie, aged 3]

6th - "I don't hold anything in, me!"  [Debs]

7th - "I was smacked the length of Manless Terrace."  [Jess, reminiscing]

8th - "I've played with a seven-incher; Bellamy's ten-incher is too big."  [Faye, regarding tablets]

9th - "I've got a threat of indigestion coming on."  [Emma, ref possible arrival of a threat]

10th - "Your own bodily fluids are acceptable, Jess."  [TMWSC - cross ref 1st Quote]

11th - "He looks like a bollock - a shaved bollock!"  [Liam, ref a bald diver with pronounced veins]

12th - "They've certainly dug into the bottom of their diving toybox and pulled that out."  [BBC commentator on Synchronised Diving]

13th - "They were both doing a good impression of a banana."  [Same commentator talking about the Italian pair]

14th - "What do they need that person sat at the end for?  I think they know what they are doing!"  [Jess, annoyed at the cox for free-loading and the other eight rowers doing extra work]

15th - "Yes, when you've done your ace; oh, you forget there's an 'f' at the beginning of 'face', don't you!"  [Faye - who else!]

16th - "Winning this third set could be pivotal."  [Tim Henman stating the obvious, when the Murray v Federer match went to 1-1]

17th - "A monkey's escaped and they're trying to round it up."  [Dad of TMWSC, deciding it's possible to 'round up' a single monkey (?)]

18th - "I've got an exact same similar one."  [Channel 4, The Hoarder Next Door]

19th - "Official cereal bar to the London Olympic Games."  [TV advert with a concept that defies logic and any sense of human values or priorities]

20th - "Engulfed within his own paranoid ideations."  [Channel 5, Born To Kill: The Fred West Story]

Specific Grammar Supplement + Talking Bollocks

21st - "I believe a prison workforce are capable of pulling it off."  [Gordon Ramsay]

22nd - "How is it this question mark got raised?"  [BBC1 - raising marks rather than questions]

23rd - "It ended up okay at the end."  [Diving commentary - ending up in a mess]

24th - "The hospital have decided."  [Have it, indeed.  Narrator on 24hrs in A&E]

25th - "The band are celebrating their 50 years."  [Are it, now?  Radio 2 news report]

26th - "She's been successful on many backhand down the lines today."  [Tracy Austin, struggling with where to put an 's' to make something plural]

27th - "The amount of volume of water."  [David Coulthard talking shite, as ever]

28th - "Psychopathologicalness."  [Channel 5, Born To Kill: The Fred West Story]

29th - "There'll be highs of 22."  [TV weather forecast, giving a single high temperature]

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