Wednesday, 15 August 2012

15.8.12 Britain's Greatest Modern Man

I see today that a list has been published, putting the top 25 blokes in order.  For your amusement, here is the list with some additional notes from yours truly.

25th  - Colin Jackson
Sorry, but I really don't care that he's at the lowest position in the table.  How the fuck does a nice guy who's jumped a few hurdles years ago qualify for being in the mix for a vote on the Greatest Modern Man in Britain ?  Absolutely laughable!

24th  - Bob Crow
This is the man who threatened a full strike ahead of the Olympics, in a bid to fuck everything up!  How the hell can a union leader (paid by subscribers to fuck up the country) be deemed worthy of any votes at all in such a list?  Baffling!

23rd  - Alex Salmond
This is the man whose inclusion in the list is the most unbelievable, simply because he's on a mission to get Scotland OUT of Britain!  British?  He doesn't even want to be British!  Fuck off!

22nd  - Gordon Brown
Oh dear, oh cuntin' dear.  How is he even mentioned, after the bollocks of a job he did for the UK?  I despair completely, if he's supposed to in some way represent the ideals in a 'great man'.  Horrendously poor taste is being exercised with his inclusion on the list.

21st  - Alan Sugar
I am not sure what makes a man great, but am reasonably sure that Alan Sugar is not really a perfect example.  Yes, he worked hard and built something significant from scratch.  In that regard, his example is a good one, and others should realise what's achievable with hard work.  Where such a person should be included in a top 25 I do not know.

20th  - Lewis Hamilton
Sorry, but a guy who earns millions of pounds for driving fast round a track is most definitely NOT someone who deserves the accolade of being the 20th greatest modern man.  Nice bloke (seemingly) is one thing, but to be included in this list is just silly.

19th  - Tom Jones
My, My ,My (Delilah).  The definition of 'great' is clearly flawed as fuck.

18th  - Paul McCartney
Ditto the above.  He ponced off John Lennon for recognition forty-odd years ago, and is annoying the fuck out of everyone these days with his woeful 'performances' which prove he should have been put out to pasture at least a decade ago.  Great?  No - deluded and stupidly honoured?  Yes.

17th  - Sam Warburton
Nothing to do with bread.  I had to admit defeat upon seeing the name, as I've never heard of him.  Surely that has some relevance if the honour is supposed to be Greatest Modern Man.  Not hearing of someone rather proves he can't be in the running.  He plays rugby - possibly very well - but to me that is not reason enough to earn such recognition.

16th  - Richard Dawkins
Nothing to say about him really.  Irrelevant.

15th  - Michael Caine
In a weird way, he is in fact a role model of sorts, and the British public has a strange affinity with Mr Caine because he's always been seen as an 'ordinary bloke'.  On that basis, I suggest that he could indeed provide an example to us all of what might be possible from humble beginnings, even though he is no more than an actor.

14th  - Boris Johnson
I am baffled.  Not just by his inclusion in the list, but by the man himself.  He's an enigma, and a buffoon, and yet so popular.  He's managed to mix his privileged background with ordinariness to a perfect degree, and most people laugh, but like him.  I'm not sure that makes him 'great' at all, but he's certainly unique and worth having around.

13th  - Bobby Charlton
I suppose he was always going to feature at some or other position, being a favourite of the nation and a safe bet.

12th  - Jeremy Clarkson
Love or hate him, he's got something.  He speaks for the ordinary bloke, and mostly speaks a lot of common sense.  If there's someone who can cut through the crap, it's Clarkson.

11th  - Rowan Atkinson
I suspect that he's a successful 'export' via his Mr Bean antics, as well as being liked in the UK for his rubberiness.  I don't understand the criteria upon which individuals are judged for inclusion in this list.  I suppose he is talented, unique and funny, so must be of some use.

10th  - Ranulph Fiennes
At last someone who's done something worthwhile, demanding and noble, without embracing capitalism and self projection as the core requirement.

9th  - Bradley Wiggins
Really nice bloke who's worked very hard and set a great example to people.  His reserved and humble nature mean his inclusion in the list is warranted.

8th  - Alex Ferguson
Don't like the bloke or think he's worth inclusion.  However, I suppose his achievements are significant in the world of football - a surreal world where everything is fucked or horrible.

7th  - Duke of Edinburgh
Fair play.  He has steadfastly support HM and provided amusement as well.  Devoted, no doubt.

6th  - Richard Branson
Aside from the antics in which he's engaged over the years, there can be no doubt that he's inspirational and unique with his forward thinking, positivity and enthusiasm.

5th  - Tim Berners-Lee
Apparently he invented the internet, so I suppose he deserves a place in the list more so than most.  I don't know a thing about him though.

4th  - David Beckham
I am the first to say that David Beckham seems a nice bloke, and that he's no doubt a great family man.  However, I refuse to believe that this, together with his ability to relentlessly market himself, is reason enough to receive 4th place in a 'Greatest Modern Man' vote.  He plays football, poses, and makes shitloads of money while smiling.  Dubious credentials, I'd say, for such a high position.

3rd  - David Attenborough
At last a thoroughly decent man who worked for decades in his chosen field, and is loved by all.  Well deserved place.

2nd - Stephen Hawking
I suppose he's in a strong position to be included, so no gripes.  I still haven't worked out what determines people's positions on this list.

1st  - Johnson Beharry
He's the most well-known soldier this country has, and there's no doubt he's been brave to the ultimate degree.  There must, therefore, be numerous other armed forces personnel who've not had the same publicity, but whose efforts have trumped those of some of the idiots on the list (?)  Without awareness, they will go unrecognised, and instead, Johnson ends up being a sort of representative for the combined armed forces.  Deserves - definitiely.  But comparing someone who's been awarded the VC with a union leader who's threatened an all-out strike, or a sports person, is just madness.


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