Thursday, 28 May 2015
28.5.15 BGT - 4th Semi-Final
OK Worldwide
Four blokes fidgeting to DIRE music. The music was so cunting crap that it mattered not what they did, I was irate. This was generally, bitty and boring. Apparently "energetic" is supposed now to qualify as complementary. Cowell confirmed he was underwhelmed, but I'd beaten him to it.
Ad Break - as if we need one.
Lisa Sampson
"A hula-hoopin-housewife," said Dec. Unfortunately this was never going to be a winning act, despite her being a 'nice' person. Sadly the backing music was as cuntin crap as that featured in the first act. Enough to consign any performer to the skip. She did as much as anyone could have done with hoops, and was very good. BUT, hoola/hula is never going to win anything much.
Ad Break - What the fuck? Already? Again?
The Kanneh-Masons
What a talented family! They were so clearly enjoying it, and it was entertaining. Dec kept referring to the 'Canny Masons', which was amusing - albeit at a very very low level.
The Neales
Easy listening to numb the brain, until it becomes so uneasy that it eats brain cells at an alarming rate. Bring back Val Doonican. His ricking chair rocked more than these sorry chaps. They were off key, as well as crap. This is Britain's Got Talent, not a few nice chaps.
Mrs MWSC: "Do you feel like you're ever lacking in empathy?"
TMWSC: "No, because it was fucking shit!"
Mrs MWSC: "I love you."
Ad Break - actually, I need a break from awful tosh
Maia Gough
This was not entertaining. Her voice was samey and warbling. Andrea Faustini set the level for this song, and anything else is weak by comparison. Unfortunately the judges had to clarify that she's 12 years old. Age is fucking irrelevant! "You wouldn't know you've not had that much rehearsals," said Alesha, once again ignoring use of the English language. It was okay - no more.
Jeffrey Drayton
Ridiculous.
Ad Break
Marc Metral
Wendy the dog was again able to open and close her mouth for the ventriloquist. Despite thinking it would be rather boring, the routine was pretty good.
Isaac Waddington
He is certainly very good, but as far as I am concerned, BGT is not really the place for singers whose efforts might just as well be on X-Factor. A lot better than Maia Gough.
Another Ad Break (Yawn)
Boyband
"Last up are the most gifted act," said Dec. Are it, indeed? Another failure to speak English. I wondered if OK Worldwide had swapped costumes and tried again. This was tame stuff and uninspiring. What a letdown after the auditions.
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