25.5.15 Britain's Got No Talent

Britain's Got Talent has fallen on hard times, considering the content of the first semi-final.

Fidgeting Kids

Can't remember what the name was, but the dance troupe was dressed in Harry Potter garb, and moved around a bit before the end came, and the "what a way to open the show" comments flowed.

A Choir

Each component was able to contribute 167th of a noise that was very pleasant.  However, as a act on BGT it was not appropriate.  There is an annual competition on BBC1 for choirs, and this should have been the focus for this army of singers.

A 12-Year-Old

The kid can sing, but unfortunately he sang the exact same song that he performed in the auditions, and revealed NOTHING further about himself or his abilities.  So, he might as well have sent in a VT of the first effort.

A Dog

A dog that can burst 100 balloons in under 42 seconds is of course an asset to national security, and/or border control, but does that make it a relevant act for BGT?  Strangely, as Walliams said, it WAS weirdly entertaining.  Sad, though, that Britain's output in the talent stakes is again reliant on an energetic dog.

A Singer/Comedian

Forgettable and dated.  Why did he not stay in the 1980s ?

Fat Women

I have no idea why "doing it for women" is some sort of cause that warrants old fat people wearing big knickers taking to a stage.  Also, why does it encourage people to suck up to them?  That's NOT talent, ladies - make some fucking jam!

A Woman Singing

It was a beautiful song, sung very well, by a woman who needed a break. She was very short, quite sweet, and wearing a red dress.

Lorraine

Not the ITV host, but a woman who is simply a bit odd, with a Victoria Wood style.  Strangely different, and left field.  Is that talent?  Who knows.  This was more Dame Edna on acid.

Roller Skaters

This brother and sister pairing performed slightly less well than their audition, although it was still impressive.  Why, though, does the pairing make me feel very slightly uncomfortable?  Certainly they are talented, but possible limited in appeal.


I think that this collection of eight acts will prove to be particularly poor overall - well, I fucking hope so or this week will be a shit one for TV.

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