The Sakyi Five
Very 1970s, boring, wimpy and certainly not entertaining. "It was really infectious," said David Walliams. Impetigo is in play, then. No thanks, all round. Awful.
UDI
The Siberian team was certainly entertaining in the auditions. Aside from the loss of the 'wow' factor this time around, it was not as good, and actually rather boring. That's two acts so far that brought boredom to the stage. Alesha, they did NOT "up their game".
Dylan Byrd
Fair play for having a go, Dylan. But this was never going anywhere.
Ella Shaw
This perfectly sums up the argument that X-Factor is the place for an act like this. In fact, I believe she was on X-Factor last year, and got ejected. Why, then, is she appropriate for a variety act? I was bored with the wailing and moaning, especially as her audition was actually excellent, and far better. Unfortunately she did not excel this time. Alesha, this was not "edgy". As for being "pitchy," Amanda, what the fuck would you know?
Gracie Wickens-Sweet
This was boring, even if she has a good voice. Impressive is rather twinned with being eleven years old. I suspect that if she were twenty-two, it would all be run-of-the-mill. So let's all agree that being eleven was the talent aspect here. Nevertheless, she's confident and can certainly sing.
IMD Legion
Dancing may very well keep them off the streets, and be thier collective passion, but this was nothing special at all. How tiresome are dance troops? Very. Nothing different to see here. Why the judges all stood up I've no idea. "So much pinches all over the place," said Alesha, avoiding use of the English language.
Narinder Dhani
The comb-player was a joke. Fucking horrendous. Only Simon had the sense to buzz. The other three turnips stood up and clapped at the end.
The Kingdom Tenors
Boring shit.
Jamie Raven
Excellent! He'd better get through.
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