Tony Bennett is Gaga
Is there anything less entertaining at the moment than Lady Gaga wandering around with Tony Bennett and annoying us with their warbling? No. Why on earth TB has ever received any applause I've no idea, but in recent years I think it would have been kinder to have him not sing. Anyone who wanted to give recognition to him for being part of an era gone by, and a poor man's Frank Sinatra could have clapped while the rest of us waited for him to shuffle off. As a duo, the noise doesn't work, as very well evidenced on Strictly Come Dancing a couple of shows ago, when the pair were simply horrible.
Russell Brand
Is there any way of encouraging Russell Brand to shit-the-fuck-up? Any suggestions on this pressing matter would be gratefully received. This hypocrite and self-serving twat is given far too much attention (ie. more than cunting NONE) and the media pander to his outbursts like flies round shit.
Tony Blair
Tony Blair has come out with some comments about immigration. Here we have another self-serving wanker why is so much more dangerous than Russell Brand. Blair is the top example of a two-faced hypocritical self-serving vile individual, displaying cuntishness and views that are not wanted. How does anyone shut him up? Amazingly, this maniac seems to trot round the globe spouting shit, getting loads of attention, earning a fortune, and achieving nothing. What he now has to say about the country after leaving remnants to be mopped up and glued together is pathetic. As for having any right to say anything at all about immigration, considering he opened the floodgates to serve his own ends, Fuck Off! He seems to think that curbing immigration would be a mistake. Talk about trying to defend his own history on this subject by continuing to promote the floodgates being left open! Why don't you give some of your £80m fortune to the immigrants then, rather than expecting the country to foot the bill! Of course not; in fact, you have done much worse, allowing a 7% cut in Britain's EU rebate during your negotiations whilst Prime Minsister. Oh well, that's just an extra£7,000,000,000 we've paid over the last seven years. TOSSER.
A Plea to the Paparazzi
Please can you STOP following Lily Allen. I have no wish ever to see her again, nor do I care for her forced controversial stances on things. Her ego is too big, and her singing is weaker than tea from a 5th generation tea bag.
Taylor Swift
There is no escape, it seems. There is nowhere that advertising can't reach now, and at every third fucking click online, up pops a shitty advert or trailer. This week, I have been abused aurally by Taylor Swift and her playground chants taken from an album called 1989. This constant assault is simply unacceptable, as is her 'music'.
Notice to the Fashion World
I have no interest in what Millie Mackintosh is wearing, how skinny her legs are, how hard she works out, or whether she is breathing. Please can you find something useful upon which to focus.
Fiona Woolf
After stepping down as chair of the inquiry into child abuse for the government, Elizabeth Butler-Sloss showed some awareness, and confirmed the government's naivety in appointing her in the first place. The replacement, The government replacing her with Fiona Woolf has turned out to be even more of a catastrophe, but so far, one we are all stuck with. This woman had to have seven drafts of a letter to apply to the Home Secretary, with help from the fucking Home Office! How the cunting fuck does this make any sense at all. To learn that she has more links with the establishment and with Leon Brittan than Butler-Sloss makes her even more unacceptable for heading this inquiry. I suspect a big fat pay check, expenses and some kudos is a prize worth being rather devious for. If two or three years are spent with this woman in charge, then I am sure the results will be counted for nothing. As for Theresa May, I think she deserves a slot on 'River Monsters'.
Robbie Williams
Please don't bother.
Jonathan Ross
I missed this week's show - on purpose of course. Who in their right mind would be able to stomach an hour of him. Sadly his guests for the show were in nearly all cases equally pointless individuals. Russell Bwand, Wio Ferdinand and the Lohan woman were all whiling away their time in his presence, along with Daniel Radcliffe, who one day might feature in something without bringing Potter to mind. The egos must have been jostling like mad. Woss thinks he is the star of every show, Wio is under some sort of impression that he is revered for his tweeting abilities even if his football skills have left him completely, and Bwand is under the misapprehension that he counts for anything at all. As for Lindsay Lohan, I thought she was still in jail; oh well.
River Monsters
There can be no doubt that fish worrier Jeremy Wade is annoying as fuck, with his incessant pestering of fish. If only the tables could be turned.
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