Louis Walsh . . . . . Why?
In the numerous breaks for adverts, I watched the supermarkets trying to outdo each other. Sanctimonious Sainsbury's managed to suggest that when their 'deals' are over, unlike Tesco the prices don't jump back to the previous high levels. So, both might offer something at £2 but when Tesco puts the price back to £4, Sainsbury's sets it at £3. Excuse me, if both of you cunts can sell something at £2 when it suits, then both £3 and £4 are piss-takes.
Meanwhile, Morrisons is apparently charging £5 for tubs of chocolate sweets, while Asda is selling them at £4. Ner-ner-neeeeer! At the same time, Morrisons is three quid cheaper than Asda on Bold washing liquid - na-naa-na-naa-naa! This pathetic bickering in the breaks was most annoying.
Back on X-Factor, the same pathetic bickering was evident. The judges are a pain in the cunt. The jostling and put downs are so puerile, and instead of concentrating on the singers [no, there are no grounds yet for calling them 'artists'] we are expected to be interested in the bluntness of Mel B, the vowels of Cheryl Tweedy-Cole-Pancho-Sanchez-Versini-Technicolor, Simon's pontification, and Louis Bloody Walsh period. Meanwhile, Dermot presides over a drawn out mess of a programme that on Saturday took up two-and-a-half hours in the TV schedule. Obviously the time wasted on competition announcements, useless recaps and nine advert breaks meant actually one-and-three-quarter hours of programme, within which the singing accounted for 24 minutes!
The mammoth test of endurance to get to the live shows included the Judges' Houses stage, where one set of hopefuls went to Simon's house, while the three other judges found a location to hire for their own rabbles. Whittling down the six to three in each category was an arduous task, accompanied by much wailing and crying, plus the obligatory begging, pleading, moaning and affirmations that this meant 'everything' to them. Eventually, 24 became 12 - more than enough for us to find a winner from in the coming weeks. Then the Wildcard phenomenon kicked in.
It did more than that, it proved a kick in the teeth for common sense, because the phenomenon became phenomena! I recall the Wildcard from a previous time, when the 12 became 13. That was in keeping with the concept of a Wildcard, singular. This time, each judge allocated a Wildcard for another judge, giving us FOUR more to listen to. So, the Judges' Houses stage was in fact largely a farce that allowed Sinitta to parade in feathers, Tulisa to test her new pouty look on us, Cheryl to call in Tinie Tempah to try and look cool, and Mel B to get grinning input and inanity from Bunton. As the end result was in fact to lose just two per category, it was ostentatious padding for the TV schedules.
16 singers or groups last night, what a marathon. NB: The next idiot who refers to one of the five or the eight blokes as a "band" instead of a group will be the subject of a voodoo curse. Here's the five-star round up of the performers:
Paul Akister = ***
Lola Saunders = ***
Overload Generation = *
Jay James = **
Stephanie Nala = *
Jack Walton = *
Chloe Jasmine = ***
Stereo Kicks = **
Stevi Richie =
Lauren Platt = ****
Blonde Electra = *
Ben Haenow = ***
Jake Quickenden = **
Fleur East = ****
Only The Young = **
Andrea Faustini = *****
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