ITV recently decided that Craig Charles needed to tell us, via a 90-minute programme, which was The Nation's Favourite Motown Song. Who the fuck bothered to vote on that? I would also like to point out, for the seven people in the UK who just might be interested, than in the other ITV programme entitled Peter Andre's 60 Minute Makeover, there is no attempt to spruce up Peter, and in fact the confusingly named show involves him fronting some shit where people's houses get some attention. I made sure a couple of months ago that I missed Rio in Rio, a 50-minute ungrammatical offering by the BBC, as I would have squirmed in coping with that much of Rio Ferdinand.
Sky Living recently brought us Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA, with the content apparently amounting to "A 23-year-old who weighs 32st." I wonder if there will be a follow up, if she makes it, perhaps with the content of "A 32-year-old who weighs 23st."
Sometimes it can be amusing to see the running order of programmes on some channels, and I occasionally see if a trio can amuse me. Whilst some channels are devoted to certain themes, others clearly are not. On More4 last month, I spotted these three:
10.00 Britain's Fattest Man
11.05 The Perfect Penis
12.15 Grand Designs
Elsewhere, recently, there was Kids with Cameras: Diary of a Children's Ward, and the TV listing causes some concern with its comments on what to expect - "A 12-year-old boy recovers from a stroke." Hmmm . . . surely that's a bit dodgy!
Last week and this week I see from the TV listings a basis for mild annoyance, as a result of the unnecessary and unwarranted airing of films starring Nicholas Cage. For some reason, Channel 5 last Sunday decided we needed him the the 198th time on our screens in Gone in 60 Seconds, and then had to endure another dose in Bangkok Dangerous. Two days later, BBC1 joined in with the needless glut with his film Honeymoon in Vegas. It was rather disappointing to see in today's listings for the coming week further offerings, with Cage starring in Next and Adaptation.
Pointless Shitty Television
The schedules are littered with crap; I would like to share a few example that demonstrate just how useless the Cunts In Charge are at endorsing decent entertainment, and offering anything worthy of viewing.
ITV- Who's Doing the Dishes? Singer Joe McElderry hosts a dinner party for four strangers who try to guess their mystery host's identity, with the aim of winning a cash prize. Dire indeed!
BBC2- The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice Jo Brand is joined by three celebrity fans to discuss how the competitors fared in the semi-final, and also chats to the baker who was eliminated earlier tonight. What a waste of half an hour! Bake Off can fuck off, and an extra fucking slice is certainly NOT needed.
Channel 5- The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door A dispute with the residents of a mobile home leads to a man being attacked with a hammer, and a woman decides to tackle a dog mess problem in her council block. Is this really supposed to be entertainment? WTF?
This week's low-lights include more desperate efforts to cram celebrity versions of shows into our visual menu.
ITV- The Chase: Celebrity Special Radio 2 Presenter Ken Bruce, former England Midfielder Paul Ince, Eastenders actress Laila Morse and boxer David Haye take on the show's resident trivia expert in a test of their general knowledge. Bradley Walsh hosts.
A review of this line-up quickly confirms desperation in full. Ken Bruce is a radio presenter for a particular reason - he does not belong on fucking TV! Paul Ince is a waste of space who does not deserve or warrant any airtime at all! I would have thought that after his inclusion in a cringe worthy edition of Mrs & Mrs, ITV would have learned its lesson, and discarded Ince to the wastelands of the backs of our minds, where only occasionally do we recall his footballing days, and that penalty shoot-out when Ince did not take one. Laila Morse is the sack of spuds who appeared disastrously on Dancing On Ice, then on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, and now apparently warrants more indulgence. David Haye, another IACGMOOH has-been is simply irrelevant.
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