Strictly Come Dancing
The dance-off was contested between the wrong two pairs. Don't get me wrong, both couples were pretty awful, and one could argue that on this basis, ejection of either would have served a purpose. What's so annoying, though, is the system for scoring that sees the horrendous Judy Murray survive for yet another fucking week. This travesty is one that undermines the whole programme. Bruno made a telling comment regarding her 'performance' when he said that during her dance, she went "from Nelson's Column to a blob". Elsewhere, Tim Whatacock was saved by the bored housewives who no doubt watch daytime TV, and whatever antiques show he pisses about on. Scott Mills is simply embarrassing. Let's hope that over the next three weeks, we lose each of those three in turn. Sadly, the public vote is so unpredictable that idiots with phones will bugger up proceedings, I fear.
Jennifer Gibney & Simon Webbe
The dance off was between Miss Fritton/Rupert Everett, and the most boring of the Blue mob. There was not an ounce of entertainment in the painful efforts that saw the St Trinian's headmistress make her exit. The good news for all is that the awful Donny Osmond is also exiting this week. His scoring has been the most random pot of toss that one could have imagined. Let's hope he's not invited back.
The X-Factor
The results show commands an hour of the TV schedule, despite there being need of only about fifteen minutes to do the necessary. Sadly this programme is designed to allow guests to tout their albums, and Pharrell Williams [the culprit responsible for the 'Happy' song] was invited to annoy us in person this week. His performance was shite, flat, uninspiring, and self-indulgent. What sort of example is this to set for the sixteen contestants behind the stage? "Get your hands up high, move them side to side" - with lyrics like this, Pharrell needs to get a brain to put inside that silly hat.
Next up was Taylor Swift with a song so annoying, light-weigh and forgettable that my mind has gone as blank now as it did when she was 'singing' the wailing playground jingle that included much use of the word 'shake'. I suspect the word was used around 70 times! The four judges stood at the right moment, I think coinciding with the electric shock that Brian Friedman sent to their chairs as a prank. Dermot thanked Taylor Swift rather than head-butt her (shame) and it was then time for the nauseating competition details. So, half an hour in, and not a sniff of relevance to the 'results'.
The roll call was interrupted by an ad break, and the last three were revealed. Out of the competition went Blonde Electra. Well, considering they should never have been included, this was no loss at all. Overload Generation and Stephanie were left to compete in the 'sing-off'.
Overload Generation bored me with the usual weak warbling, face pulling, flat notes, and general gormlessness which Simon referred to yesterday in respect of the middle one of the five. This was an unmemorable performance. Stephanie, by non-contrast, was equally unable to sing. Her weak voice contained a few warbles, and this tame effort was only 20 decibels above heavy breathing. The disgrace of X-Factor is that one of the two had to be saved! I am sure that the Mel B school of man management would have seen both kicked off.
Simon - "Shockingly bad" for Overload. Cheryl followed suit, but Mel B sent Stephanie home. Would Louis go to 'deadlock? Of course. So, at 2-2, the public vote was used to decide the outcome. The fewest votes were scored by Overload Generation, and the five went home. It seems the group of them was around just about long enough to add a word to the name, but not long enough to count to two.
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