TV Guide Observations
River Monsters Jeremy Wade sits alongside a 17ft anaconda. Last in series.
Sadly the anaconda wasn't hungry enough to do us all a favour and consume JW. Still, at least it's the end of the series.
Gogglebox Celebrity Special for SU2C Nicole Scherzinger performs with a choir of children who survived cancer.
Surely these kids have suffered enough without having to endure this extra ordeal?
Derren Brown and Martin Freeman for SU2C Derren Brown performs a stunt for Martin Freeman, plus Jack Whitehall is on hand to raise awareness of testicular cancer.
So it's Jack Whitehall talking bollocks yet again.
Paul O'Grady: For the Love of Dogs Paul helps to remove matted hair from a neglected German shepherd. See Pick of the Day.
For once, the extra information after the colon is useful, or I'd have assumed Paul was going to groom a bloke from Bavaria. I like the 'pick of the day' coincidence as well.
Do We Really Need the Moon? Maggie Aderin-Pocock explores Earth's relationship with its satellite.
What a pathetic fucking concept for a programme. This is not a question worth asking, as there's hardly any choice. Maggie needs to find something more useful to do with her life, and other questions to tackle, questions that might lead to proper consideration and even affect outcomes. For example, "Do we need HS2?" Now that's a question with an obvious answer, and the programme would last just a few seconds for the 'No' to be stated in response. Maggie could then get back to knitting a colander.
The Kitchen The Barry-Powers face an uphill battle to get eight-year-old Cerys to school.
Yawn. No mention of it being downhill on the way home!
Lowlight of the Week
Loose Women Jonathan Ross joins the panel to discuss the return of his chat show.
As for Channel 5, and its appalling lack of quality, the schedules demonstrate just how pathetic the offerings are. Take Thursday's running order, as an example:
8.00 Benefits, Babies and Jail
9.00 No Foreigners Here - 100% British
10.00 Hey Big Spenders! Shopaholics Exposed
11.00 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away
12.00 SuperCasino
The Daily Mail TV Guide is littered with diabolical abuses of the English language, and one particular annoyance is the obsession with making singular things plural. Examples:
Antiques Roadshow: The team visit . . . . VISITS
Our Girl: As the unit prepare to . . . . PREPARES
Carry On Matron: A gang of crooks try to . . . . TRIES
Flog It! Trade Secrets: The team explore . . . . EXPLORES
Only Connect: A team of orienteers take on . . . . TAKES
Cagney & Lacey: The duo witness a shooting . . . . WITNESSES
Home Away from Home: A family from Essex swap homes with . . . . SWAPS
Cagney & Lacey: A gang of robbers impersonate police officers . . . . IMPERSONATES
The Job Lot: The team are put under pressure . . . . IS
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