On Christmas Eve it was reported that the luxury car maker Bentley had laid off its vicar just before Christmas - as he might upset non-Christian workers. After serving in the position for 10 years, Rev Francis Cooke was axed on the basis that the company needed to take a multi-faith outlook. Staff are campaigning to reinstate him. This is a perfect example of the skewed fucking country that we live in now, and the pathetic 'decision making' that goes on among idiots in positions to do more damage than good.
Ulrika Jonsson
She recently came out with a statement regarding Nigella Lawson in her column, as follows:
"Hard to believe, but Nigella's latest Italian cookbook is apparently not selling like hot biscotti. I have to admit finding her stunning to watch but impossibly irritating."
I have to disagree with Ulrika on one of those two counts; she's NOT stunning to watch (and the creepy smug grinning does nothing to help her cause).
Bestsellers
A scan of the paperbacks on the shelves of Asda revealed a pathetic twist in the make-up of the books on sale. It seems that "Fifty Shades of Grey" has encouraged numerous copycat books, and there were, on display alongside the aforementioned, no less than nine books all seemingly doing the same sort of job (blow, hand ?) for the previously ill-informed but rampant nymphomaniacs, studs and giggling aunts who have now been given a green light to read this 'soft porn that must be okay because it's in Asda'. Are we so literarily desperate that we need this tosh to fill shelves? I suppose it makes a slight change from the Knights Templar stuff and codes, and the unending supply of stories about child abuse, with each story behind the cover of a crying child trying to outdo the one before.
The Sun Bizarre Awards
These are so well-named, because 'bizarre' is certainly the case. The Bizarre Man of the Year is apparently Robbie Williams. Tragic. The Bizarre Comedian of the Year is unbelievably Jack Whitehall. He's simply not funny. These are indeed bizarre awards.
The Sun
Further disappointment regarding The Sun newspaper came on Boxing Day, with an edition comprising 80 pages, of which the space equivalent of 32 were adverts! WTF? 40% of a national newspaper given over to adverts? Criminal.
Disgusting Display of the Week
This was the awful ranting and raving of one Alex Ferguson, the pompous and arrogant manager of Manchester United. His display on the touchline during the match with Newcastle was woefully short of acceptable, let alone any sort of example to set to the rest of the football world. Who does he think he is? The referee should have sent him to the stands, no question. Perhaps, though, the funniest element of his performance was that during his rant at the 4th official, the camera caught him losing his chewing gum. Yes, that horrendous and monotonous jaw movement (chewing AND talking) was interrupted when in his keenness to moan, he forgot to retain control of the gum, and it popped out and fell to the grass.
Give it a year or two, and his poor gum control might be superseded by awful dribbling, as he considers retirement (oh please!).
Demba Ba
It seems that the £7.5million 'get out' clause in Ba's contract with Newcastle allows him to take £2.5million of it for himself. If that's so, then quite clearly he's going to want to leave the club in January because he'll get an instant windfall, and his new club will pay get a good player for a reasonable price in today's market. Whoever siggested this clause in the contract was: (a) An idiot - if working for Newcastle Utd, (b) A good negotiator u if an agent doing deals, or (c) A clever sod - if called Demba Ba.
Drinks Tray
Carrying four drinks on a tray is apparently an act that now requires Health & Safety training. At a restaurant in Southampton, a customer was barred from carrying the tray himself just a few yards to his table. Madness, as ever, associated with H&S matters.
Strictly Grammatical
At last Strictly Come Dancing has ended, proper version and celebrity version. So, hopefully I will not have to endure hearing "Strickly" from thickos for at least eight or nine months. Still, even that annoyance was trumped big time yesterday, when a commentator was reporting for Final Score. He decided to use the term Annus Horribilis, thinking that Latin would show him to be educated and clever. A shame then that he pronounced it so that it rhymed perfectly with 'fabulous', as though spelt 'Horribulous'. Thick twat.
Celebrity Mastermind
The qualification for participation seems to be that the majority of the population has to mutter, upon seeing the contender in the chair, "Who the fuck's that?" As for the questions, they are embarrassingly easy. The general knowledge questions are designed to ensure that everyone gets a reasonable score. As for awarding a trophy to the winner of each contest (between just four people), totally laughable. On the last programme I saw, I know that the woman whose specialist subject was Harry Potter, my daughter in law would have got them all right; and, on the winner's general knowledge round, even I got all bar two correct. Dumbing down is everywhere.
Superstars
On Saturday, it made a change to see Superstars, after a very long absence from our screens. Sadly, this was not an enthralling contest and there was little of note about the whole thing, other than being good at one sport does NOT mean you are good at other things. I have learned one thing, though, from this pointless programme.
Denise Lewis can talk complete drivel, and would win a Gold should 'Drivel Talking & Inanity' ever become an Olympic sport.
Big Fat Quiz of the Year
I have a sneak preview for you of one of the questions that might feature in tomorrow night's programme, to round off 2012.
Which of the following is a self-serving freeloader (allegedly) who has been given an award in the New Year's Honours List for some unfathomable (or legitimate) reason, and which one rides a bike?
Cherie Blaire CBE
Sir Bradley Wiggins
...
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