Once upon a time, many years ago, there was an expectation that with the a goalkeeper being the only player in a football team allowed to handle the ball, he might (on a fairly regular basis, while preventing the ball going into his net) catch the fucking thing! Alas, this approach died out in the late twentieth century. Only in archive footage can one now see proper goalkeeping, by the likes of the great Pat Jennings or Bob Wilson. Pat 'The Cat' Jennings was perhaps in the top three goalkeepers of all time who played in the top flight [Division One/Premiership] in this country.
In days gone by, goalkeepers were expected to catch the ball whenever possible; it was thier prime objective, and obviously meant that whether a goal was saved or not in the process, possession was retained. Nowadays, the complete opposite is true. The ball is to be feared, and pushed away at every opportunity. Keepers are now allowed to earn their money and claim glory by spectacularly tipping balls over the crossbar or to the side of either post. Sometimes this is achieved with a follow-on roll, or an acrobatic 'ninja' display. Sometimes keepers choose to reach more awkwardly with the arm/hand that's furthest away from the ball (?) which either adds to the spectacle, or means a failed attempt at saving. One of the many consequences of the non-catching is that more corners are conceded. This adds to the pressure on defenders and further tests the keeper. A catch is a 100% save. A tip away is a temporary save.
I have lost count of the goals needlessly conceded by teams because the goalkeeper chose to pat the ball away rather than catch the cunt. How on earth can it be preferable to push the ball into the path of an oncoming attacker rather than try to catch it? When I was eleven years old, I played in goal, and was pleased as punch when one day, I was luckey enough to get a pair of goalie's gloves as a present. They were red and white, and were covered in minute suckers. These aided grip, and were designed to encourage me to hold on to the ball for all the reasons mentioned. Is it the case that goves nowadays have a coating of fucking Flubber? If so, I can understand the misguided view that it might be worth trying to deflect and pat at the ball. However - I know this not to be the case. Instead, the keepers of today are obsessed with a couple of things: first, looking good and getting applause for a magnificent save which allows them to feel pleased with themselves for doing something good; second, not risking a howler by failing to catch the ball and taking full blame. In effect, they think it's better to reach and make a valiant effort to deflect the ball or make an initial save (and reduce any 'fault' should the ball still go in the net) than to try and catch the thing and then have to accept 100% of the blame if they drop it.
The spinelessness has crept into the role bit by bit, and the establishment has allowed goalkeepers to adopt this approach. These heroes are often nothing of the sort. Yes, there are of course hundreds of excellent saves made that could only be reached with tips of fingers, and yes, there is indeed a time when punching the ball away is the right thing to do. However, the percentage of saves now made where the ball is caught is so very low compared with bygone days. Keepers are not now expected to do this - it's a bonus if anything is fucking caught.
Fucking Trigonometry
A long time ago, it was deemed sensible to "narrow the angle" and this guideline for goalies was, in its most basic form, a sound principle. However, it was never an edict that HAD to be followed, and there were always circumstances where this was not the right course of action. The prevalence and frequency of such circumstances in the modern game is much greater than in past times. Attackers are under pressure to score, and are often greedy as well. Depending on their skill levels, it may or may not be wise for a keeper to advance. Some players are hopeless and are intimidated by a keeper rushing towards them. We've all seen hurried shots, scuffed attempts on goal, and panic. We have all, though, seen attackers sidestep a keeper who's committed himself far too early, or seen a simple chip leading to a goal. In fact, keepers seem to "go to ground" just as often as they "make themselves big".
There are so many examples of a keeper conceding a goal, and the replay showing so clearly that if he'd not come running off his line (or out of his box) like a banshee, then a goal would not have been scored. Flinging your body desperately in any direction is not good goalkeeping, and it's lame to assume no one will blame you afterwards because you were alone in trying to prevent a goal. Keepers should be better!
The singlemost unnecessary action of a keeper is to "come out" when the defenders have yet to relinquish all hopes of either preventing a shot or intimidating an attacker during the shooting process. Again, there are too many instances of keepers not leaving a defender (or defenders) to continue in his (or their) efforts before storming out of the goal mouth. There seems to be a weird attraction for goalies to come off their lines and find a ball goes over them or around them. Choosing where to stand is a key component of good goalkeeping. Running to get into the wrong position prematurely is sadly a common occurrence.
Penalty Kicks
I suggest that a third of all penalties should be saved - minimum. Let's consider the options for a penalty taker. 1 - Kick the ball to the left. 2 - Kick the ball to the right. 3 - Kick the ball down the middle. Mathematically, then, there's perhaps a one in three chance of a save, so that would endorse my claim. One could argue that a kick from just 12 yards towards a goal that is 8 yards wide is likely to result in a beaten goalkeeper for more than 66% of the time. I disagree. For a start, a keeper standing centrally with his arms outstretched will mean the space offered to the kicker is just three yards between the keeper's fingers and the inside of the post, on each side. Let's be generous and say that a 50/50 chance regarding the left and right options is reduced further by allowing the central line to take up a full third option. So, despite the keeper not having to move at all to effect a save, we need to account for his suicidal tendancies and the need to fling himself out of the way so the ball can enter the goal via his position during the run-up. Perhaps the keepers are desperate to maximise their chance of a glorious save by assuming the kicker will aim for a spot just inside the post, which means a kick of 14yds and 1ft rather than the central line distance of 12 yards. The extra distance for the ball to travel (seven feet) means a chance of moving across in time. This doesn't work out in practice, because the wild dive left or right takes no account of ball height, curl or power, let alone consideration of a chip, or a kick to either the other side or down the middle.
So, it is best for keepers to consider the kicker, the conditions, the possible pressure on the kicker (because it's never really on the keeper) and to avoid moving too early. The kicker has also to avoid slipping while kicking, putting the ball the wrong side of the post, or over the crossbar, or hitting any of the woodwork. All in all, I would expect a penalty taker to have no more than a 2/3 chance of getting a goal. Sadly, keepers adopt the wrong approach far too often, and the percentage where a goal is scored is higher.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
At set pieces, too many keepers make poor choices. Decision making is generally poor, leading to futile attempts to reach a ball crossed into the box, or pointless presence on the line when a ball could have been plucked from the air before a striker got to it. In the old days, the keeper commanded total authority and total respect from defenders. The confidence gained by defenders through having a strong keeper was massively important, and it was demoralising for attackers to deal with a keeper who owned the goal area. These days, there are fewer expectations on keepers, and they ponce about, trying to look good and make saves seem better than they in fact are. If some attention was ever paid to proper positioning, they might find they could catch the ball rather more often.
The Wall
It is the goalkeeper's responsibility to decide on whether to have a wall, how many players need to be in it, and where it ought to be positioned. In the modern game, there is less need for there to be a wall, especially when the attacking side has a free kick that's a fair way outside the box. Far too often, the goalkeeper sees the ball fly past after it has risen over the wall and dipped below the bar. Instead of blocking one side of the goal, leaving the other to be covered by the keeper, the wall means the keeper concentrates on the side which is not relevant. These days, footballers are able to do more things with a ball, and it's flawed thinking to assume a wall will stop the ball going that way.
There are too many players used in walls, and they are often not keen to get in the way of the fucking ball! They duck, twist, sidestep or even jump, and so many goals are scored through the complete ineffectiveness of players lining up to supposedly 'get in the way'. In fact, there are as many deflections that lead to a goal as there are complete blocks by someone in the wall. Commonly, it's the case that a goal only came about because of a deflection, and that a keeper with full sight of the ball and the kicker's run up would have been better able to effect a save!
Everyone has lost the plot, and these days the decision making by teams and coaches regarding the approaches of goalkeepers is simply poor. I have generalised a lot, and there are of course many great saves made, and many keepers who are far better than others. Nevertheless, every week I see Premiership goalkeepers who fail to catch the ball - in fact worse than that, don't even try to catch the ball - and make decisions that are misguided. They do not always insist on a man on each post, they position themselves poorly, fail to command, and generally hope to look good without taking blame.
The worst, though, in all of this, is the fear of trying to catch the ball.
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