26.12.12 Quirks of the North

Earlier this month, I spent a couple of days with Mrs MWSC in North Yorkshire and West Yorkshire.  During our various travels, we observed on the side of a building the following sign.

Paint Your Own Pottery Studios

We both considered this offer and then jointly decided that we didn't really want one pottery studio let alone many, and that if we ever did, we'd employ some painters and decorators to get the studio(s) ready and/or do the refurbishment.  If the sign had included some helpful hyphens between the first three words, it would have helped with the conveyance of an appropriate message.

We also came across a sign that said "Original Fish & Chips".  We considered what other options could have crept on to a menu, and after discussion, were left with the following other versions of fish and chips that might exist:

Replacement Fish & Chips
Faux Fish & Chips
Substitute Fish & Chips
Imitation Fish & Chips
Reproduction Fish & Chips
Fake Fish & Chips
Copycat Fish & Chips
New Menthol Fish & Chips
Werther's Original Fish & Chips *

[ * The last one would only work if the owners had the surname 'Werther' ]

We were also surprised by the signage when we arrived at a very small place that we initially hadn't realised we'd entered.  Our attention was caught by a rather large sign over the premises to our right, which read:

Bocking Car Centre

There is no way to take this in without also considering "Fucking Car Centre".  Similarly, we saw the Bocking Working Men's Club was open for business.  As an aside, it is a fact that the most frequent vistors to any WMC are those who do no fucking/bocking work at all.

In Skipton, it was market day, and the place was bustling.  We wandered around the high street (after having visted the castle) and had a look in a few shops.  I cannot begin to relay the numerous snippets of conversation that wafted our way, but here are a couple.

Two women in the market, looking at some clothes

Woman No1:  "Ooh, that's a nice one."
Woman No2:  "It's the same as the one you're wearing."
Woman No1:  "Oh yes."

Two women in a furniture shop, one (Julia) clearly the boss

Assistant:  "Ooh, Julia, I've had an idea."
Manager:  "Congratulations."

Northern humour is so good, and the put-downs that float around are simply mint.

...