15.3.20 Noodle-Gate

Never did I think that small packets of noodles at 22p cunting pence each would be the cause of consternation.  But today, in my sixth decade on this planet, I have been put in my place by an Aldi checkout operator, for overstepping the mark.  Yes, I dared to purchase six packets of noodles, inviting a commercial transaction to the value of £1.32. 

The world is in financial and medical turmoil, and the consequences for the global system are dire at best.  But in my small corner of Yorkshire, the real issue is clearly the over-expectancy of yours truly in acquiring enough fucking noodles to support two meals rather than one!

There are three of us in the mix, for food preparation at Cunt Towers, the home of myself, Mrs MWSC, Junior and a dog who does not eat noodles.  This is not to ignore my other son and his partner, but they are 'self-sufficient' so I am not the "noodle whisperer" for them.

So back to my trip to Aldi, where I could not of course buy any loo roll.  I was not aiming to stock-pile, but a few roles would not have gone amiss, as I am down to the last pack.  The 100g packets of noodles were in plentiful supply, unlike pasta, that was nowhere to be seen.  I happened to pick up six packets of the stuff, and opted for 'chicken' flavour rather then mixing it up with, perhaps, beef.  The only differentiation is of course the small sachet of seasoning contained within the packets.

My mistake was perhaps to have opted for the chicken variety, as this blocked my 'defence' at the checkout, that the items were not the same.  It seems there was a policy in force that limited the bulk-buying bent of the cunting population, such that only 4 of any one item was permitted for purchase.  So when I found myself at the checkout, for my £28 worth of shite, I was vetted and limited by the woman in charge.  "I can only sell you four of these" was a limp fucking comment,. but one which was delivered with a certain sense of authority, glee and definitiveness that matched her forthright manner.  It is worth noting that multi-packs of noodles are not available.  So, these 22p items are sold individually, rather than in multi-packs.  How lucky for the buying public that loo rolls are available in packs of 9, 12, 16 and 24, with each counting as a single item.  So that means a single shopper could buy 96 cunting toilet rolls at typically 30p each, while I was fucked over for those extra two noodle packs at 22p each.  What a load of cunting shit!

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