20.12.14 Disgraceful Television

Last week's television offerings included some examples of disgraceful practice by the channels, which seem not to worry about taking the piss out of viewers.

On Saturday, we had yet another in the relentless forcing-down-our-fucking-throats of Harry Potter.  This time it was The Prisoner of Azkaban who was wasting 2 hours and 40 minutes of the ITV schedule.  This feat of laziness was surpassed by both Channel 4 and Channel 5, later that night.  Channel 4 chose to eat up three cuntin hours of the schedule [from 6.00 - 9.00pm] with 100 Greatest Toys with Jonathan Ross.  This repeated marathon was so much of a piss take that Channel % obviously felt entitled to try and match, with its TV's 50 Greatest Magic Tricks, aired from 9.10pm until five-past-midnight.  This allowed any useless individuals to observe 150 doses of shit over six hours.

Channel 5 decided to repeat this approach on Sunday, with three hours of Britain's Favourite Christmas Songs.  The repeat of pure padding came hot on the heels of a repeated hour of Michael Buble, always a trial and never acceptable television.  Then yet again, Channel 5 managed to dredge up Greatest Christmas TV Moments the very next day, to plug a three-hour gap.

Over on ITV, there was Bette Midler: One Night Only, which was in simple terms one night too fucking many.  BBC2 offered a pathetic hour of alleged entertainment by way of Canterbury Cathedral, at 9.00pm, in which the treasurer applied for a £12million grant from the Heritage Lottery Fund.  What a fucking disgraceful act, and total misuse of money!

Back again to take the piss on Tuesday was ITV, with Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, eating up two-and-a-half hours of prime-time TV.  At ten-past-midnight, BBC3 got in on the act, and gave an hour to Russell Brand in a most disgraceful endorsement of this fucktard.  Russell Brand: End the Drugs War was the programme title.  As ever, the BIAS BROADCASTING CORPORATION sticks to its guns.

On Thursday, ITV chose to confirm its ability to annoy the fuck yet again with a totally unnecessary repeat of River Monsters, the vehicle for the most awful Jeremy Wade to grin into the camera while annoying fish as well as me.

The listings for Christmas week and New Year week show further examples of lazy TV.  Apparently the time of year gives ITV licence to show as many Harry Potter films as it wants, so we get The Half-Blood Prince, then The Deathly Hallows: Part 1 and a few days later, Part 2.  This can't compare, though, with the further painful counting programmes, with Channel 5 showing Greatest Ever Christmas Movies (3 hours) plus Britain's Favourite Christmas Songs (3 hours) yet again.  Three further hours was deemed necessary for 28th Dec, with Most Shocking Celebrity Moments.  This did nothing to dampen enthusiasm at Channel 5 and so New Year's Eve offers us Britain's Favourite Sitcoms (3 hours).

I have a bone to pick with ITV because yesterday's showing of Bette Midler: One Night Only was a repeat of the showing four days earlier - hardly 'one night only' then, eh?

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