I am clearly missing something. I've been made aware of the various phenomena that now infest our Decembers, including Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Manic Monday and Wanking Wednesday. Nowhere have I seen on any fucking rota the phenomenon of Mushroom Tuesday. Whatever shit the Daily Mail rustles up, it has clearly failed to alert me on this matter.
I observed, as most of us did, the idiots scrambling for cheap (shit) televisions from supermarkets on Black Friday. Then, following on from the stupid online buying extravaganzas and the serious delays in parcels being delivered, we have had silence regarding any further specific days, other than a pathetic mention of a 'White' day. I know the Americans have other events that we'll no doubt "inherit" in due course, including Giving Tuesday, White Wednesday and Grey Thursday (Gray in the American spelling). In the UK, no cunt has seen fit to warn me of Mushroom Tuesday. I've not been told to queue overnight, or be prepared to kick a fellow shopper in the groin en route to the vegetable aisle.
It would appear to be the case that 16th December is officially Mushroom Tuesday. Unluckily for me, I was not up early enough to join the queue for mushrooms, and discovered to my cost that at 4pm, any sight of a mushroom at Asda was going to be impossible. Sadly and annoyingly, I was presented this afternoon with a completely empty display; not a mushroom in sight, of any variety, of any size, either loose or packaged. When the fucking hell did a rush on mushrooms become any sort of event that would engender the enthusiasm that might see local cunts swarming to the doors of Asda in search of mushrooms?
All I can say, in summary, is that I have somehow missed the massive publicity regarding Mushroom Tuesday - or - Asda is an entity that has today displayed a complete cunting lack of stock control, leaving it devoid of anything mushroom-like!
...
No comments:
Post a Comment