30.10.19 Cunt of the Day

Driving like an arsehole is a common phenomenon these days, and today I was treated to a display by the bloke in

NL10 LCG

who was more than eager to tailgate, undertake, and push into a fast lane that had no real available space for his little red car. 

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28.10.19 Priti Pathetic Patel et al

News At Ten included a small section on the comments by the horrendous Priti Patel in the House of Commons.  While trotting out some guff that said little at all (her forte on all matters) she called the human traffickers "unscrupable" - a word that simply does not exist.  What a twat.

After she "went rogue" in Israel, denying putting a foot wrong but having 12 meetings without the Foreign Office being aware, she was quite properly sacked.  Some holiday, that, and an outrageous set of actions.  Then two years later, she is made Home Secretary by Boris Johnson.  How the cunting fuck is she fit for such a role?  As bad as her being elevated to this position was the utter lack of judgement and pure cuntism of the PM in appointing her.

There is no decency at all in the Tory Party.  A few older hands do command some respect, Ken Clarke for example, and actually, Heseltine.  But the front bench is inhabited by a useless lying bunch of wankers - BJ, Sajiv Javid, Patel, Gove, Rees Mogg, Raab.  Then there are the useless fucks who add zero value to anything - Liz Truss, Leadsom, Hancock, Barclay. 

There is simply no justification for voting Conservative, with this shower of shit in power.

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27.10.19 Awful Weather Forecasters

Once upon a time, weather forecasters were people with some sense of integrity, gravitas and education.  This has long since been superseded by 'personalities' who are simply presenters with no real talent, and a penchant for being cuntish in their pathetic use of the English language, for dumbing down of anything meteorological, and for glibness that deserves a kick in the cunt/cock depending on what sex they purport to be.

Here are just a few of the unfathomable utterances of weather nobs.

As temperatures slip away - Lucy Verasamy
As we make our way overnight - Ross Hutchinson
Bits and pieces of cloud - Ross Hutchinson
The odd bit and piece of rain - Radio 4
A rash of showers off the North Sea - Louise Lear
A rash of frequent showers - Louise Lear
Bits and pieces of rain - Louise Lear
Quite a few bits and pieces of cloud - Louise Lear
It's very messy out there today - Louise Lear
It'll likely be a quite week for weather - Louise Lear
A quiet story across the country today - Louise Lear
The cloudy and damp conditions continue to journey eastwards - Kerry Gosling
The weather will be quietening down - Louise Lear
A quieter day tomorrow - Louise Lear
Here it could be a bit cool and disappointing - Louise Lear
Quietening things down for the week - Louise Leer
Some nuisance rain - Louise Lear
Rain showers rattling along - Sarah Keith-Lucas
There will be a few tricky moments out there - Louise Lear
This front will weaken off considerably - Louise Lear
One or two splashes of rain - Matt on Radio 4
Plenty of sunshine overhead - Matt on Radio 4
Bitterly cold temperatures - Amanda Houston
Plenty of perky sunshine - Lucy Verasamy
Temperatures responding quite well - Lucy Verasamy
Clouds will sprout up from almost nowhere - Radio 4
North of The Wash, I'm hopeful the cloud will pop away - Radio 4
A colder week of weather - Abbie Dewhurst
One or two dribs and drabs of rain - Tomasz Schafernaker
It will be a quieter week - Tomasz Schafernaker
We'll have showers, some of them quite lively - Susan Ray
The rain will plonk itself over the region - Ross Hutchinson

Other mutterings include this nonsense:

A quiet night
It will become drier and cheer up later
Temperatures will really struggle
Some wintriness on the hills
The satellite picture shows this big lump of rain
A short sharp thrust of gusty wind

What a load of shite.
As for Becky Mantin, her winking is a fucking affront, so someone at ITV ought to tell her to sort herself out!

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27.10.19 Pundit Bollocks

Most pundits and commentators suffer from a serious deficiency in grammar, common sense and the ability to make decent contributions.  Here's a selection of the tripe that they relay in the course of their various roles, and unbelievably they get paid a lot of money for it.

Henderson came off his perch
Glenn Hoddle

Danny rose has gotta be really careful now and play within himself
Glenn Hoddle

That's two shots from either player that have been top drawer
MOTD commentator

Don't be surprised if them two, including Fernandinho, continues in the back four
Phil Neville

He's beginning to show the kind of form that I think he can do
Phil Neville

Next up, the teams who've had the least amounts of goals
Gary Lineker

As a keeper, you've got to hold your hands up
Paul Ince

Even though they lost the fewest amount of matches
Sports Reporter on BBC News

We were sat in and around their fans
Martin Keown

Play positive
Jermaine Jenas

His feet are like paint brushes
Martin Keown

Watford will be kicking theirselves if they let this run away from them
MOTD Commentator

They will have to face a game that neither of them want
Alistair Mann

They work as a tandem
Paul Ince

They wasn't poor but they wasn't quite at the races
Jermaine Jenas

Zuma was in and around him
Ian Wright

The goalkeepers can really make a hero for themselves
Ian Osment

He give them such an option
Danny Murphy

Everyone in the stadium are up on their feet
MOTD Commentator

Look at the players in and around him
Dion Dublin

With a number of Newcastle players in and around him
Alan Shearer

On the right hand side, whether it was Iwobi or Awellbeck
Alan Shearer

Getting themselves into those situations are hard enough
Jermaine Jenas

There's nothing that VAR have seen to change the decision
MOTD Commentator

Provided VAR don't see a reason
MOTD Commentator

Look at the amount of bodies they get forward
Jermaine Jenas

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26.8.19 Cash Converters - Hard Times

I was shopping on Saturday and on seeing a Cash Converters shop, decided to have a look at what was on offer.  The short answer to "What was worth buying?" is "Nothing."  It was a sorry state of affairs, seeing stuff that had so little merit, but the reason for this brief post relates to the credit terms that are available on all items in the shop.

I can understand how having six weeks to pay might be of real benefit to people, especially those on benefits, and credit terms sort of go hand in hand with the whole purpose of Cash Converters and its business model.  But on Saturday, I considered that things have now gone a bit too far.  The reason for this conclusion?  Simply the option to spread the payments over six weeks for a purchase at ONE POUND.  That's right, a quid.

On offer, by the counter, were some DVDs, and whilst in years gone by they would have commanded a pound each, the climate is now rather different.  The going rate is £1 for five DVDs.  This lowly pitch for finding them a new home was enhanced by the management, through an offer to extend payment over six weeks.  The up-front requirement was 22 pence, and this allowed the balance to be cleared at 13p per week over the following six weeks.  What a pointless exercise indeed.

Per DVD, this means I could have paid a deposit of 4.4 pence, and then taken the next six weeks to settle, so 2.6 pence per week.  I was, and still am, dumbfounded by this level of commercial interaction.

The saddest part is that even with such low prices, and credit beyond the limits of sensibility, I saw none that I could summon up enthusiasm for.  This must be the definition of 'worthless'.

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19.8.19 Disabled - My Arse

Asda shopper pulls up, and takes the second nearest space to the entrance, reserved for blue badge holders.  I watched the driver enter the store, seemingly not disabled, and certainly not in possession of any blue badge that was on display. I suspected some cuntism was in play.

He's not alone - there is a constant stream of offenders, both in the Blue Badge bays, and the Parent and Child bays.  Asda makes zero effort to be bothered about who parks where, so no wonder its customers do not give a shit.

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20.7.19 Kia Ceed Review

Lane Departure Warning System
Lane Keeping Assist-Line

I had no intention of reviewing the Kia Ceed (now written without an apostrophe, apparently) but circumstances determined that the hire company in Spain presented me with the Ceed 1.4 CVVT in bright blue, rather than the Vauxhall Astra that I was expecting.  As the rental arrangements are such that something 'similar' is allowed, I had to get to grips with an unfamiliar model.

Had I received an Astra, this post would clearly not exist.  I would know exactly what to expect with the Vauxhall, and it would be pointless to pass comments.  I suspect that the Goldcar system of allocating cars has a log that the Ceed is at least equal to an Astra, but I would like to suggest now that this is simply not the case.

The CVVT model (no idea what this stands for, and I have no intention of looking it up to clog my memory with useless information) is potentially linked to the numerous fucking extras and electrical features.  That's just a guess, but the dashboard and fucking cunting beeping rather bears that out.  The array of switches, lights and warnings (plus the Spanish screen that no doubt allows connection to my smart phone) are all of no interest to me.  There is one feature, however, that cannot be ignored at all; it is the car's weird mission to interfere with the steering and take control of the wheel.

I have spent nearly 40 years driving, and in all that time I have successfully managed to point the car in the right direction, and maintain control.  These days, motor manufacturers have decided that drivers are no longer adequately equipped to steer a cunting car.  Hence, the advent of (in Kia's case):

Lane Departure Warning System
Lane Keeping Assist-Line

This pair of programmes is a fucking nightmare.  I collected the hire car at 10.30pm, and setting off from the car park, I was reasonably confident.  But of course, I have no idea at that point of the subversive electrics that were lying in wait.

On the main road, I got up to speed, and various beeps were coming at me from somewhere on the dashboard.  Sadly, I did not have time to google a driver's manual for the Ceed (not one in the car) and read up on the version I was sitting in,  On the move, I became a bit concerned with every passing minute.  I felt like I was losing control of the vehicle at regular intervals. 

I stopped half hour in, to check the tyres, as I was concerned they were soft, and the cause of the veering and wavering that the car was displaying.  I realised then that there were factors beyond my control here - literally - and that I would have to get to grips with the car's features the next day.

Sure enough, the intrusive feature could be turned off,  Sadly, this was via the tap of a button which worked until the car ignition was switched off. So every time i started the engine, I had to hit this button.  This was made worse because the car would not let me open the boot with the engine running, or even with the fucking key in the ignition.  Further, the rear doors would not open either. Child safety locks prevented passengers letting themselves out, and any attempt by me to assist required the handbrake, stop the engine, remove the key and then get out to open the fucking door.  Then, in restarting, I had to remember to disable the steering shite.

The car is under-powered, and slight hills are more of a challenge than they should be.  All in all, I would suggest to any purchaser of the Ceed, (after first asking "why are you bothering?") to avoid all the gimmicks.  The lane Keeping/Departure crap is wholly disconcerting, and I would argue dangerous.  Rather the opposite to the intended outcome.

A final note relates to the advice I received en route to the airport at the end of my break.  I was minding my own business, the Lane Departure and Lane Keeping technology was of course disabled, and I was 50 minutes in on a journey that would take no more than 75 minutes.  The dashboard 'pinged' and in the small square, through the wheel, in the centre of the dash, I saw a picture of a steaming hot drink.  The message below suggested I might do well to consider a coffee break.  What the fucking fuck?  The picture and message disappeared after a few seconds, but I was prompted again when this shite was repeated after a further ten minutes.

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