Dear ITV
Will you please give consideration to some necessary improvements in how you run your channel.
1 - Small Fortune (Saturday nights)
This pathetic effort is simply a pain to watch, and Dermot O'Dreary does absolutely nothing to convince anyone he wants to be there in favour of washing his hair. The most obvious fury-inducing element however is the voice-over input from none other than Brian Blessed, booming his affected decibels with completely non-essential information that has determined I do not watch the programme. The approach is a fuck-up of the one taken with The Cube. A single episode of this Small Fortune experience was enough to point me towards watching paint dry in preference.
2 - Trailers (Every fucking day, about 100 times)
'Cheat' - Stop Ramming It Down My Throat
FUCK OFF with your relentless trailers for the same up-coming programmes. 'Cheat' has been lobbed on to my screen for three cunting fucking weeks, at every opportunity. I will not be watching as I am sick to the cunting back teeth of the abuse inflicted on me by the controllers of ITV. 'The Bay' is another one at the moment, and we recently had 'Cleaning Up', which was always unwatchable because of Sheridan Smith anyway, but more so what with the many weeks of being bombarded with trailers beforehand. ITV never learns that far from promoting these programmes, the relentless touting of them with trailers is having a detrimental and opposite effect!
3 - ITV Be (The dregs of 'entertainment')
If I wanted to watch this cunting rubbish, I would tune in. I choose NOT TO, and yet I cannot escape the continual touting of this low level, low IQ, low relevance shit! ITV is obsessed with trying to encourage me to have some interest in utter bollocks. Get a grip please, ITV! The CIC* need to review just about everything, including the latest revised graphics that flick up between programmes, and in tandem with pointless trailers.
4 - Dancing On Ice (Ending today)
The Final today means that we can all move on now. The madness of this programme is matched by the tedium of the formulaic approach. Phil and Holly stand there telling us how each competitor has "given it their all", earning tens of thousands per episode. Gemma Collins has this series been pandered to like fucking royalty while expecting her to skate as much as a bolder rolling across a glacier.
5 - Alastair Stewart
Please can you pay this nob off, serve notice, and save us all the sickly and creepy grimace that her delivers in lieu of a smile. While you are at it, please dispense with the "services" of Julie (R)Etchingham, whose superior/condescending and patronising delivery is simply unwelcome. Go and look sincere at your reflection, and see how annoying it is.
[*Cunts In Charge]
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