4.8.13 ASDA - A Shit Display Again

All I wanted was some Clover - a simple 250g tub of Clover.  The ticket said £2.00 but was crossed out, superseded by an 'offer' and a new price tag of £1.50.  I was prepared to pay this sum, but was denied the opportunity.  Why?  Because fucking ASDA was fucking out of stock.  Yes, there was a gap on the shelf in the chilled section where tubs of Clover used to live.  Alongside the gap was a 'gathering' [I've no idea what the collective noun for Clover is] of Clover Light.  This made perfect sense to me, especially when I realised that the Clover Light was also on sale at £1.50.

It made sense because around 60% of the shoppers in the ASDA were overweight, and not interested in anything 'light'.  They ranged from 'overweight' to 'cunting fat', and included the usual 'obese' classification somewhere in the middle.  As if proof were needed that people in general are overweight, and that shoppers in ASDA are severely overweight, Clover-gate confirmed it.  The display of the lightweight variety was completely full - untouched by human paws or fat fucking fingers.  It was pristine and would have won an award for its aesthetic qualities. Millimetres away was the gap that replaced a similar display of normal Clover.  I deduced [not 'deducted' like a thick cunt said on TV last year] that no one is interested in the lightweight variety.  So, why does the stuff even get made?  Why is the stuff even stocked by ASDA?  Why are the quantities and space allocation the same for both types in an ASDA store? Why the fuck was ASDA out of stock when it knows damn well it ought to cater for the buying habits of its customer?

All of the above questions serve also to confirm that the policies of the government (nanny state) are flawed as well, and that forcing people to accept shit is not going to work.  Removing the good stuff from Mars Bars a few years ago meant I instantly disliked them, and no longer eat them.  Sugar Puffs suffered a similar attack by the CIC* and for many years I've not eaten them following the removal of what I considered to be a rather key ingredient - sugar! When the essence of any product is tampered with or removed, there's no fucking point in buying it.

We all know that the international unit of measurement for a Crispy Pancake is 57.5 grammes.  Why else would the product now be sold in boxes of four, weighing 230 grammes?  There is only one reason for 230g being more appropriate than 250g - that's extra profit for the manufacturers.  Seeing them in the freezer cabinet brought back memories of harder times, when this fodder was all I could afford.  In those days, the size of a Crispy Pancake was rather larger; AND, the cheese and bacon variety DID NOT have sweetcorn included!

"No thank you" was my response when asked if I needed any help with my packing.  I an able bodied and more than capable of packing food into carrier bags.  However, this is only in fact the case if there are enough fucking bags provided.  Within a minute I'd filled the four bags provided, and 'Ms Anorexia 2013' continued to shovel my purchases down the chute despite my lack of bags.  I stood while she build a scale model of 'Witch Mountain' and wondered how long it would take her to realise she was a twat.  It took her till the last item was scanned, and a further three bags were then brought out from under the counter.  If she'd brought out anything else from 'under the counter' (circa 1988) I might have been both interested and pleasantly surprised, but a few more shit bags did not light up my day.

Last week ASDA had no garlic for sale.  Today there were just two overpriced bags of new potatoes available, and I was forced to pick up one of them.  The cheaper variety was not even stocked.  I saw one dimwit pointing to a checkout with a big hand on the end of a pole, something that now qualifies as gainful employment.  Since allegedly landing on the moon [which of course never fucking happened] we have as a society progressed to pointing at a space and marvelling at a space.

The 8-can £4.20 pack of Sprite was down to £2.50 while the 2-litre bottle was up from £1.00 to £1.98, but with an offer of "2 for £3.00".  Cunting fucking mind games and bollocks, while ripping off customers.  In Spain, at Mercadona, the standard price for a bottle of 7 Up is ONE EURO - permanently!  Why does the UK insist on fucking about with basics and fleecing customers?

I left the shop with the disappointment that comes with discovery that the offer on beer has finished, and that on the plus side, whilst I worry about a belly that's bigger than it was, there are fat fuckers everywhere to make me feel rather better about myself.  As for ASDA, I admitted to Mrs MWSC that I would have been happier giving my money to the Cunt-Op.  The Cunt-Op is allegedly "Good With Food" while ASDA does not so much "Roll Back Prices" as "Fuck Me Off".

* [CIC = Cunts In Charge]

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