iphone
Yesterday I listened to the following sentence, after watching 30 seconds of self-congratulatory tosh from Apple about its iphone.
"Every day more photos are taken with the iphone."
This is a pointless sentence and any attempt to try and suggest that it portrays the iphone as something wonderful is futile and flawed when one considers just what is being said. There is no claim at all that other types of phone are faring worse, and that they are used to a lesser extent. The comparison does not in fact exist, although the marketing people are hoping that our brains do take us down such a path. There is not, at the end of the statement, the phrase: "than on any other phone", which would mean Apple is actually claiming something. No, instead we are left with a statement that is as pathetic as "every second or so, my heart takes another beat". Every day, a few more photos are taken on iphones is hardly something earth-shattering, and it certainly falls into the 'matter of fact' category rather than into some sort of advertisers all-time top ten of slogans. One could perhaps call this clever advertising, as it suggests a claim without actually making one. Or, it's shit because it sidesteps the issue and allows me to pick a hole in the advert that is linguistically massive.
Pringles
They may well be 'bursting with flavour', according to the manufacturers, and if the visible proof of this were provided by a tube of Pringles bursting open, then that would at least make some sense. But why the fuck does the advert show other grocery items on the shelves of a supermarket exploding all over the place? There is no logic at all in something in the fruit aisle or a packet of biscuits exploding (bursting) when it's allegedly the Pringles that are bursting with flavour. Flawed and annoying.
Fairy Dishwasher Tablets
Why the fuck we're supposed to be that bothered about the performance of a dishwasher tablet I've no idea. Finish maintains it's the market leader, but Fairy Platinum is now apparently able to "solve the challenge". That's right, it seems dirty plates now present humans with a challenge that has to be solved. I always thought that it was problems that were solved, not challenges; challenge is a more general term for the situation of "having to solve a problem" or something that is problematic. So, I suggest that "solving the challenge of grease" is a shit concept that holds no water at all. Grease is not a challenge - it's fucking grease! 'Fairy Fucking Platinum' is soap that deals with grease and the whole washing-up thing is NOT a sudoku!
McDonald's
There's an advert showing people in a park all eating a McDonald's meal, whilst lounging about in the nice weather. It's the middle of the day, so supposedly lunch time. What does not add up at all is the number of people who are eating at the same time - well over 100. It is simply outrageous to think that 100 - 200 people could be eating at the same time, unless they all had lunch breaks of 2 hours (minimum) and most were prepared to eat cold food. There would be no possible way to serve that many people quickly enough to allow them all to converge on an idyllic park and smile while eating. A McFuck-up.
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