13.6.13 Problem Page Pathos

Sorry, but I am all out of pathos, and I'm amazed how the answer to this recent problem was ever deemed appropriate.  If this is the dumbed-down sort of shit that the publishers of tabloids expect to get away with, then this country is more fucked up than I ever thought possible.  On top of all manner of uselessness by the establishment, the government, institutions, quangos, bankers, companies and the Police Force, it seems that publishers cannot even manage a decent problem and answer session.

Dear Agony Aunt

I love my boyfriend very much but he tells me lots of lies.  He has betrayed my trust several times by cheating, by stealing money - and even by falsely claiming to have cancer.  I am 31 and he is 36.  We live together and have done for four months.  Everything would be fine except I cannot believe a word he says.  I have to lock away anything valuable or it disappears - I suspect the proceeds go to the porn shops or the pub.  I don't know whether to turn a blind eye or confront him.

Twat Says

There is not much to recommend your boyfriend.  No cuntin' shit, Sherlock!  He cheats, lies and steals.  He even makes you worry he is ill when it's untrue. You thick useless cunt - she said all this in her fucking letter you moron!  Sharing a life with someone like that is not a happy prospect. Doh!!! Think long and hard about whether you really want to face such a future. You fucking useless cunt.

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The letter-writer is a complete twat for even asking for advice and the scenario is actually hilariously funny - especially the bit that says "everything would be fine except I cannot believe a word he says", and the lying aside, that means she's happy with his stealing.  Then there's the complete fuck-up with "porn shops" when the writer supposedly meant "pawn shops".  Still, with this guy's record, he's probably well into porn as well!

What a complete load of shite, and the advice provided was not just bollocks, there wasn't any at all except suggesting the woman "thinks long and hard" - what a prick, literally!  Available daily in The Sun.

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