Super Bowl XLVII
Well, it was by all accounts a good contest, and I did enjoy the small bit that I saw before falling asleep. I was ready at 11.30pm, and managed to watch the first half. The trouble was that the 30 minutes of play took so long to complete. The time-outs on top of the clock being stopped when the ball went out of play meant it was so easy for my eyelids to start closing. Then there was the half-time show, with Beyonce prancing around and doing her usual thing. I suspect that on this occasion she was not in fact miming, although I couldn't be sure. I would have preferred no sound at all, though. Anyway, when it was time for the second half to get underway, I managed just three minutes before turning the TV off, as it was 1.35am, and I couldn't bear the next 30 minutes of play taking an hour more.
Peter Lovenkrands
Apparently this chap is a striker for Birmingham City, and is overpaid - like most footballers. I say this because it seems he was recently mugged on his own driveway, with the hooded yobs managing to steal the player's watch before fleeing. Now, I am certainly not condoning the mugging. If they had run into the path of a car and died, I'd have not an ounce of sympathy. What I find baffling is that the watch was worth £30,000. So, whilst the robbery was 100% out of order and the culprits deserve serious jail time and/or personal injury, I think that anyone wearing a watch worth £30,000 is an idiot with no sense of perspective.
Horses
What with Findus selling frozen food that's 99% horse meat when it's supposed to contain beef, and Tesco, Burger King, Aldi, Co-op and others all managing to include a percentage of horse in various products, including burgers, I find it funny that horseradish sauce has not yet featured in any of the jokes that I've seen; maybe it has, but I've missed them (?)
Useless Females
Yesterday, I saw in my newspaper an update on the latest poncing about by Kelly Brook, plus the obligatory photos. She was in Miami and achieving nothing. To quote from the paper: "Kelly Brook gives the green sight to fans by posting a sizzling picture of her bikini-clad body as she lounges on a beach. Kelly, 33, had been modelling in Miami, where later she strolled on the seaside." Next to this blurb was the green bikini shot and another of her walking by the sea, and below, confirmation of what she was doing through the word 'Stroll' being typed. What shite!
Yesterday also saw a Rita Ora large photo, and today I've got her again - this time taking up three-quarters of a fucking page. What with a small pic of the ubiquitous Rihanna and Kelly fucking Brook yet again, I am amazed there isn't world peace, considering there could be no other reason for these bimbos hogging the space in the press.
Another useless bimbo is Katie Price, based on - well, everything, actually. I note that in today's column she lambasts a Russian air stewardess, who according to KP posted a picture of herself giving the finger to passengers. KP's view is: "If you've got a problem with your workplace, dumb arse, discuss it with your manager not the whole world." She added: "You were lucky to have a job and should've kept your gob shut to avoid getting fired." There's a definite irony in KP telling someone to keep their gob shut, and a sense of profound hypocrisy in her calling a fellow female a 'dumb arse' as well as suggesting that telling the whole world was inappropriate. Please, Ms Price (I use 'Ms' because I've no idea whether you're married, separated, divorced, lobotomised, or yet again 'in transition') can you take some of your own advice. By the way, the stewardess just tagged herself on a photo showing a finger, with air passengers in the background; it was not actually her finger/action. Still, why would you be prevented from writing something just because it is inaccurate.
David Jones Waster
This cabinet minister got a ride in a chauffeur-driven limo this week, from Downing Street to his office which is - wait for it - 450ft away! The Welsh Secretary [this was the description in the paper, which is actually incorrect, because his position is Secretary of State for Wales; he is most probably Welsh, but that's hardly the reason the paper chose to call him the 'Welsh Secretary'] had a 90-minute meeting, and this pathetic journey in a car was a fucking cheek. The driver had to wait for 90 minutes to pick the lazy fucker up and take him to his office. This cunting bollocks is unacceptable, not only in the current economic climate, but at any time. An aide [anonymous of course] insisted he was reading Cabinet papers in the motor. SORRY, BUT - reading Cabinet papers (yeah, right!) for ONE MINUTE each way is NOT any sort of justification for cuntishness.
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