Scene - Petrol station shop, at Morrisons. TMWSC has just filled the car and is about the hand over cash to pay for the fuel dispensed from pump four.
TMWSC: "Can I have a VAT receipt please?"
Till Operator: "Is that a VAT receipt you wanted?"
TMWSC: "Yes, that's why I asked for one."
Turning to leave, TMWSC saw a typed (home-made) sign cellotaped to the side of the counter, which said:
Police Notice - Please remember to pay for your fuel
TMWSC was perplexed, because the police most certainly would not have put that sign up, and it seemed a pointless sign in any event. It could of course have been a misprint, and the first 'c' should have been a 't' so it read "Polite Notice". But why be polite to someone when telling them not to steal fuel?
Exchange Number 2 - "Coronation Street"
Scene - Roy's Rolls Cafe, with Anna serving behind the counter.
Ryan: "A pasty to go, please."
Anna: "That's one-pound-ten altogether."
TMWSC is completely perplexed at the inclusion of the word 'altogether' - it was a single item at a single price (?)
Exchange Number 3 - "Hollyhocks"
Scene - TMWSC is sitting with Mrs MWSC in the garden, visiting mum & dad. All are sitting at a small table on the patio.
Dad: "You're Hollyhocks are doing well over in the corner, luv."
Mum: "That's why I didn't want you to pull them out."
The weird and immediate response was in no way explained, justified or expanded upon, and TMWSC was left to wonder whether there had been the threat of hollyhock-removal at some time in the recent past.
Exchange Number 4 - "Co-op"
Scene - TMWSC is queuing at the kiosk where a single till operator is serving. There is one woman with a basket in front, being served. To the left, there is one normal checkout in operation. TMWSC senses a chap join the queue, behind him.
Checkout Operator: "Do you want to use this till?"
Customer: "I just want some cigarettes." [He moves across to the empty checkout]
Checkout Operator: "What would you like?"
Customer: "Ten Superkings Smooth Menthol."
The checkout operator leaves her stool and walks around me to the side entrance to the kiosk counter, repeating to herself the complex cigarette order as she goes. She stoops down just past the kiosk till operator, who is just finishing scanning the contents of the basket for the woman in front.
Checkout Operator: "Now then, where am I looking . . . ?"
Kiosk Till Operator: "What are you looking for?"
Checkout Operator: "Menthol Superkings Smooth, ten."
Kiosk Till Operator: "Down a bit, there . . . . there . . to the left."
The Till Operator then bends down to take a packet of the shelf, and presents it to her co-worker.
Checkout Operator: "No, I need ten."
The Till Operator then bends down again, swaps the 20 pack for a smaller one, and presents it to her co-worker. All the time, TMWSC is watching, and astounded that a customer can avoid joining the queue for the cigarette kiosk till, and use the general checkout, so that the operator can walk to the kiosk, and illicit the help of the kiosk till operator in locating the required cigarette, forcing a delay in the serving of those in a queue for the kiosk till.
Customer: "Thanks very much." [Paying for the cigarettes, at the main checkout]
TMWSC waits as the woman in front produces a credit card to pay for her few items. He receives an enquiry from the Checkout Operator to his left.
Checkout Operator: "Do you want to use this till?"
TMWSC: "I need the Lottery."
Checkout Operator: "Oh, I can't do that, sorry. That's a shame.
TMWSC is left to wait his turn, bemused. As the checkout operator sits on her stool and does nothing, TMWSC wonders why the fuck she can't go round him and enter the kiosk as she'd done a minute earlier, and tap at the Lottery machine which was also sitting doing nothing. It would seem that this would be rather too much to expect, and that her limited skills involved slowing down the service at the kiosk while serving people at the back of any queue. The Co-operative - shit with food, so much worse with service.
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