Rather less impressive was the commentary, which at times was as far removed from the excellence of the riders' efforts as it could be. The two blokes talking drivel were Chris Boardman and Ed Leigh.
Boardman Biking Bollocks
1 - "This course is so quick and fast." [So, both then, Chris, eh?]
2 - "They're constantly changing direction all the time." [Another double-up, Chris!]
3 - "She was bested by the French rider." [Fuck off with the bollocks; "bettered" would be okay, but please don't be such a twat with "bested".]
4 - "A metronomic performance from her." [Two or three times this word was used; go back to sleep, Chris.]
5 - "Descent". [Don't be confused - this is noted for the pronunciation. Chris, you are not American, so the stress is on the second syllable! Numerous twattish instances of D-sent provided for our displeasure.]
6 - Uncontrolled use of the word "Technical" which was thrown at us at least fifty times.
Ed Leigh from Hadleigh
1 - "She can smell a silver medal here at Hadleigh Farm." [Talking shit.]
2 - "A great souvenir for a spectator." [Ed's idea of a souvenir is a used plastic water bottle discarded by a sweating bike rider!]
3 - "We can just see her start to crest now." [This is Ed using the word "crest" as a verb - for fuck's sake!]
4 - "Both the French riders went down in practice." [Hopefully not on you and Chris!]
5 - "We've got a little game of mountain bike musical chairs going on." [What complete shite.]
We also had the usual repeated references to "overcooking it" and adverbs devoid of the proper "ly" endings. There was much else to remark upon, but nothing to commend, from the commentators. The cyclists, however, deserve admiration.
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