What a farce! To turn up to the Olympic Games and fuck about, trying to lose a game defies logic and decency. Shame on you, China, South Korea and Indonesia for tainting the competition and bringing disrepute to the sport. Moaning about the format of the competition and that it may have been beneficial to lose a match because of the draw is NOT an excuse. Yes, the people in charge of badminton caused the problem with the arrangements, but to try to lose a match is disgraceful.
Tennis
Does anyone actually give a fuck about the tennis at all? Unless there's a medal to add to a country's tally, there's no point in it. We've just had Wimbledon, so the tennis is the most unwatchable element of the 2012 Olympic Games!
Squinting and Gurning
Sue Barker - Gold Medal, with a performance that can never be matched. How the hell she manages to be thought of as presentable is amazing.
Gymnastics
Please please please will the commentators work out that they do not have to keep fucking talking about anything and everything. They talk shite most of the time, they are condescending in the extreme, and as entertaining as turds melting in a fire. Christine Still has a void that makes you want to stuff skewers into your ears, and Mitch Fenner is a patronising old giffer. By the way, Mitch, please will you stop calling the fucking floor a 'piece of apparatus'. It's a fucking mat on the floor! As for Christine's (or was it some other biddy?) pronunciation of Asymmetric - 'Ass' for the first syllable - I am mystified!
Diving
The British women divers, Blagg & Gallantree sound more like a firm of solicitors than a pair of divers. I did manage to quip to Mrs MWSC that the names were weird: "Gallantree - you get a medal for that!" I thought it was fucking hilarious. One of the more ludicrous comments during the men's diving (after two of the six rounds were over) was:
"We haven't really started the competition yet. That was the hors d'oeuvres; now for the four-course meal."
What complete shit! Still, it wasn't the last of the rubbish spewed from the mouths of commentators. We also had:
"It's a 4.1 tariff; that's off the Richter Scale when it comes to diving." Could any cunt have said anything more stupid? Then we had a more mundane dollop of shit, with:
"Everyone is diving out of their skin."
Sailing
The commentary was weak, and going on about "this is London 2012" makes little sense considering everyone who's sailing is in Weymouth. I caught a strange comment that suggested the boats have secretly acquired engines (?) considering the statement:
"He's found a gear no one else has got."
Flags
There are cunts watching the Olympics who could be charged with being 'thick-in-charge-of-a-flag'. There is most definitely a right way and a wrong way to display the Union Flag. There have been countless examples of idiotic fans ignorantly waving flags that are back to front. It seems that unless there's a fucking pole or a stick down one side, people can't get it right. It's not like we see other supporters holdinmg flags upside down or back to front. Get it sorted, you twats.
Swimming
There appears to be a weird phenomenon taking over the swimming event, with every race being preceded by a 'catwalk' display. The swimmers are called out of the changing rooms, and appear wearing all sorts of ludicrous attire, when they are about to get fucking wet! I was amazed to see the various tracksuits and the numerous swimmers who cannot function before a race without music. The men seem commonly to wear massive headphones, to go with sulky expressions. The women are no better; their preferred attire includes handbags! Yesterday a swimmer was carrying a bag - why? Spare Tampon? Sudoku book? Sandwich? Map of the London Underground? Another came out wearing a coat over her full tracksuit. Madness! Then I saw a woman carrying her coat. What the fucking fuck? Hat's off [turn of phrase - clearly all swimming hats are staying on] to Stephanie Rice, from Australia. She was the only swimmer yesterday who braved the elements and took 12 paces from the changing room into the arena wearing ONLY a swimming suit, reading to jump into the pool and swim! I wanted her to win purely for being sane and unaffected by the pathetic rituals that prevail now. Sadly she came 4th.
Tonight, Rebecca Soni set a new world record time in the second semi-final of the women's 200m, and the commentator said: "She'll definitely be the fastest qualifier in the final." Oh how we need commentators, eh?
Football
Well done GB for beating Brazil. Lucy Ward's commentary is painful any day of the week, and the football is best enjoyed with no sound. The best comment, just before GB took the penalty kick, was:
"Kelly Smith was born to do this."
Kelly Smith clearly wasn't, because she fucked it badly, and kicked the ball only just off-centre, and the Brazilian (nationality, not hair style - unless you know different) keeper saved it by not dying and moving 18 inches to her left. Lucy managed then to comment on the keeper's movement in a way that suggested an excuse for the poor penalty kick by GB.
"If she'd gone the other way, it would have been a good penalty."
No shit, Sherlock. If my Auntie had been a bloke, she'd have been my Uncle, etc etc. I hope she's not being paid for this inane drivel!
Hair
Why do male gymnasts and some swimmers insist on retaining unsightly underarm hair when they clearly consider it unsightly to have any chest hair? Weird depilation regime.
Cycling Gold
Well done, Bradley. Your comments afterwards were gold as well. In the interview afterwards, he referred to "Cycling the streets in wherever we are" and the "Wonderful setting in front of that castle." Such a laid back approach to his whereabouts, and Hampton Court Palace.
The commentator had earlier come out with an unusual analogy:
"With the British providing the bookends of the podium, with 1st and 3rd places at the moment."
Jake Humphrey
"He's there because he's won the most number of gold medals." Can't speak English or what!
Tickets
Fucking fiasco or what! A complete cunt-up. The empty seats prove what a mess the whole process of ticket allocation was. Now we have some seats available at £5 on 're-allocation' after they've been returned. If I was sitting watching after paying £100, I'd be fucked off if the guy next to me got in for a fiver!
Sponsorship
BBC commentator Jonathan Agnew fell foul of the Olympics branding police yesterday when he had his umbrella confiscated. His brolly was seized while he was covering the archery at Lords, because it bore the logo of a non-sponsor. What cunting fucking bollocks.
Steve Redgrave
Boring. Bit too happy to be 'Sir Steve' and top dog. The BBC needs to stop feeding his ego, because he's not good to listen to and is too 'it's all about me'.
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