What a frantic couple of weeks, and what an amazing result for GB! Third place for a relatively small country is pretty good going. I suppose there could be some criticism that most medals for GB depend on competitors sitting down, what with saddles on bikes and horses, and seats in canoes, kayaks and rowing boats. However, to complement those efforts we've had a haul of medals in other disciplines which require a different position from sitting down, and it's clear we have achieved something wonderful overall.
Woeful, however, has been the input from some of the commentators and pundits that have overloaded us with drivel and bollocks via their microphones, and from the comfort of their sofas. It's a shame that their performances from a sitting position have not by a long way matched the performances of Team GB.
Commentators and Pundits
Sue Barker
Proficient at little else but gurning, squinting and frowning, this last two-week feast of sport has annoyingly featured Sue at the helm far too often. Sadly the BBC seems to have decided she's equipped to tell us about all sorts of things sort-related, with the pained expression and annoying tone.
Gary Lineker
A bit too smug, Gary. You're under the (mistaken) impression that you can do no wrong and that the public likes you whatever your input and supposed talents. At one point, I heard him comment in the most dismissive manner about an unsuccessful appeal in the hockey by the Spanish coach, who was very unhappy with a decision. "Oh well" is NOT sporting at all, and is actually totally unacceptable. Disrespect and smugness is not funny. This is in complete contrast to the sporting behaviour displayed by the overwhelming number of participants. Crass, Gary; go away. I resent you getting inflated wages via my licence fee.
Jake Humphrey
Here's another 'presenter' who is of mild use in the world of Formula One, but is out of his depth doing anything else. He is simply annoying as fuck, and I hope that my memories of the excitement in the Velodrome can somehow separate themselves from the stupid shit talked by Humphrey. Watch out, watch out, there's a Humphrey about is sadly too true.
John Inverdale
'Middle of the road.' Not just the best place for him, but as a general comment on his input. Still, he did have the unfortunate job of having to endure (and I use that word advisedly) the nauseating and ego-obsessed Steve Redgrave, who just loved the attention and made most reports directly or indirectly about himself and his associations, glories, medals, input or abilities. I am not trying to take away from him the successes he achieved in a boat, but that does NOT mean he's got any right to talk at me about anything and everything associated with rowing, and give his opinions on all the other competitors and laud it.
Gabby Yorath
Absolutely fine. She's never offensive, never obsessed with herself, and is easy to listen to as she lines up something else for us to watch.
Claire Balding
Well, after being harsh on her in the past, she's actually proved herself to be knowledgeable, hard-working and entertaining during her stints on screen. Well done, luv.
Ian Thorpe
Slightly odd perspective, some odd comments, but all the time engaging and certainly different to listen to. Good choice.
Hazel Irvine
Unfortunately this is someone who most definitely should be left in a cupboard in Sheffield until it's time for the annual snooker world championship. There is no place for her anywhere else.
Michael Johnson
Easy to listen to, intelligent, talks honestly and shows generosity with respect. Overall, an excellent guest on any show. Fuck knows why he doesn't get signed up more, at the expense of one or two of the other twats. I have no idea why we always have to have so many 'experts' to contribute their views.
Denise Lewis
Pointless. Hopefully never again. Of less use than the gherkin slices that I discard from any McDonald's burger.
Colin Jackson
For what it's worth, Mrs MWSC thought, when she heard his voice in commentary, that she was listening to a woman. Colin is pleased to be enthusiastic and to smile a lot. What extra information I have gleaned from his being included in the BBC team amounts to 'fuck all'. Still, he's not alone in adding nothing to my life or knowledge.
Christine Still
Her input during the gymnastics caused me on more than one occasion to turn the sound off. I wish there was a 'mute' button just for her, but sadly it was no sound at all, or her monotonous verbal barrage. Could someone at the BBC tell her that a commentator does not actually have to be making a noise into a microphone at all times. The nasal tone and fucking atrocious shit that is fed to us during any gymnast's routine is frighteningly awful. It makes her sidekick (the bumbling and patronising Mitch Fenner) seem bearable, which is actually a travesty in itself.
Hugh Porter
This guy is amazing, and his velodrome contributions deserve to feature on their own in a post on this site. I cannot begin to do justice to his faux pas on the commentary front, which is sadly the only reason he was employed by the BBC. With linguistic abilities akin to a John Prescott on acid, crossed with John Motson's ability to avoid shutting up at all costs, Hugh managed so many clangers he proved himself incapable. On one particular matter, I went to Google to do some research. What prompted me to do this? Hugh's pronunciation of "Trinidadian", which he frequently relayed with an "A" (as in the letter, with a long sound) for the third syllable, rather than it being a short "a", as in the word "dad". I entered some words, and got links to YouTube, where I was able to listen to a number of clips. In these, I heard many people from Trinidad refer to themselves as Trinidadians with a short 'a' sound, and not one used a pronunciation that made Trinidadians rhyme with Canadians. This aspect of his commentary was grating as fuck - in fack, as bad as the pronunciation of 'Vettel' by David Coulthard which was (until last year went he finally relented) not the stress on the first syllable so it rhymed with 'kettle' but with the stress on the second syllable - out of sync with the rest of the world.
Chris Boardman
Chris, along with Ed Leigh managed to present the women's mountain bike event in a way that gave Hugh Porter a run for his money. Talking shit came naturally to both (as per a post on 11th August). Chris had of course contributed to the velodrome goings-on, and was well warmed up after mumbling little of interest for a good week or so, when asked to do so by Jake Humphrey. What with Mark Cavendish mumbling away when pushed into commenting (again) by Humphrey, the velodrome coverage was well below par - ironic considering the input by the cyclists was phenomenal.
John McEnroe
Always fairly amusing. Once the tennis had finished, I am not sure he should have been relied upon for great input - some might say before the tennis had finished, the same applied. Still, even if he was talking about some other sport, he generally had a light-hearted stance and was a welcome relief from the many other BBC twats.
Jill Douglas, Rishi Persad & Matt Baker
Okay, but nothing more. I think 'adequate' was the highest level of achievement, but nothing horrendous.
Sonali Shah
Oh my! What a disaster. So out of her depth, although I suspect she'd struggle to manage with a kitchen sink and a plate to wash up.
Barry Davies
Whether it's tennis from Wimbledon, or Hockey, he did what he normally does and he was fine. It's a shame that the BBC didn't let people do what they're used to doing across the board. Instead, we've had the wrong people involved.
Phil Jones
During the first few days of the athletics, I though Team GB had been given the interviewing services of one of the Judo team - a bloke called Phil Jones, who was clearly happy to hold a microphone in his right hand, while practising moves with his left hand. I half expected to see one of his targets in a half nelson. I suspect that if any of the athletes who went over to talk to him at the side of the track had been wearing a judo suit, he would have grabbed the collar and gone for a 'nippon'. Phil Jones mauled every interviewee, grabbing shoulders - male and female. Someone must have said something eventually, as he had stopped doing this by Thursday.
BBC Coverage
Most people agree it's been good. What has annoyed me a lot, though, has been the time spent (wasted) on the features, build-up discussions, and needless recaps while there's some sport going on. Watching a VT for five minutes about someone's story is of less interest than something happening in real time.
Worse, though, has been the weird obsession with making athletes and participants give their views on the crowd, what winning a medal means to them, what was going through their minds, etc etc etc. Fifty per cent of all questions asked by interviewers during the Olympics have been pointless and/or repetitive.
The best question by an interviewer was posed yesterday morning to Ed McKeever after he collected his Gold Medal for the win in his kayak.
"What was going through your mind? When you were up there, there must have been so much going through your mind, about all those hours training, about the help from your coaches and your parents and how you were so pleased they'd bought you your first canoe as a child, and how you overcame all the set-backs and stuck it out over many years, dreaming one day of a medal, and all the preparations coming into the Olympics . . . . . . . (etc)"
"Sorry to disappoint you, but no - I was just enjoying the moment."
Priceless!
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