Let them get their breath back
It defies logic that an interviewer would stick a microphone into the face of a competitor who has just completed an event and is clearly knackered. However, Phil Jones is certainly not capable of being respectful of the athletes' efforts and managed to prompt the Men's Marathon winner with pointless questions. The Ugandan bloke was clearly a) Knackered, and b) Struggling with the language. Phil's persistence did not pay off, and the pathetic need he had to get a formulaic answer to his question was annoying as fuck. By way of a question, Phil confirmed to us that the runner had sacrificed a lot and moved away from Uganda at the age of 13. He did not get the response of "It's all been worth it, and it's amazing" because the guy had better things to do than waste a second on Phil after his long run in the hot weather.
Annie Last was snared after her mountain bike exertions to deal with the same old questions from an interviewer before she could deal with what was surely a greater priority - get a drink of fucking water. Helen Skelton may be enthusiastic, but I think a tad more understanding is called for.
At the end of the last boxing match, it was apparently more important for Anthony Joshua to respond to questions and set out his plans for the rest of his life before getting his breath back and grabbing a drink. All interviewers have seemed intent on getting the standard answers from the winners, and making sure that we all get reminded just how important the crowd was.
Peculiar turns of phrase
The onward march to slaughter the English language has continued over the last few weeks. I have no idea when the practice started, but during these Games, the creation of verb forms from nouns has persisted. Athletes have medalled a lot. I have no idea whether that is best written as a single 'L' or a double, mainly because it's not a fucking word! I have also heard a commentator state that the French mountain biker (Julie Bresset) would crest in a moment. The commentator was saying the rider would reach the crest of the hill. We have also heard that people will podium in an event, and there are other errors starting to become commonplace.
Many athletes do not now run races; instead they execute them (?) for some reason. I have become sick of the term over-cook now. Divers, cyclists and many others have all been accused by commentators of over-cooking it; what bollocks. The wafflers have also suggested that competitors need to dig deep while doing whatever the relevant sport demands - certainly not related to digging. I hear yesterday someone say that a competitor needed to move up through the gears - but with no bike in sight, I struggled to know how that could be done. The cliches have been relentlessly provided.
One of the women commentating on the Women's Modern Pentathlon (either Steph Cook or Eleanor Oldroyd) referred this morning THREE times to Samantha Murray's red swim cap. It's a fucking swimming cap! This afternoon, the same voice announced: "This is a very tough run course." It's a cunting running course! This sort of twisting of the language is closely followed by another form of shit, where it's apparently too much work now to use all the necessary words let alone word endings. "Followed by a 10km bike" is hardly a comment that makes sense, and it should of course have been "10km bike ride".
Some twat managed to say "Ass" when pronouncing "Asymmetric Bars". It's always be the letter 'A' for the first syllable! What the fuck? Worse, there's a more prevailing fucking trend in speech and in news print to refer to the apparatus as "Uneven Bars". Is this more evidence of dumbing down for thick cunts?
Finally, athletics commentators and those giving results in diving and swimming, have repeatedly and annoyingly decided that doing so constitutes a tidy up! For example: "Let's tidy things up now with the results of the second heat." It's not tidying up, you twats, it's giving us the results!
Dressage
Congratulations are in order, after the win which saw a 28-year domination by Germany finally come to an end. What I've found mildly amusing/ironic are the various reports on this event. The first thing to note is that one of the main contributions to the Gold Medal performance came from Laura Bechtolsheimer. Coincidentally, she was born in Germany (no points for guessing that considering the surname). The real amusement came from two other aspects. The first was a report in the newspaper on the dressage team that included Charlotte Dujardin and Carl Hester. The article included the following: "Afterwards a delighted Dujardin paid glowing tribute to mentor Hester, who spent the last five years grooming her." Not the best portrayal of his efforts, eh?
The other observation concerns the weird perspective documented, which tried to convince us that the sport is not elitist, and is available to anyone. Hester said: "It shows that dressage is accessible to everyone," on the back of his assertion that he comes from Sark, and has a remote and rural background which included learning to ride a donkey bareback. Meanwhile, Charlotte's grandfather happens to be a billionaire. Okay, Laura was a stable girl who benefited from her links to the world of dressage in a way that has proven wonderful. I am not sure that Hester's further comment proves she's not fortunate; he said: "Charlotte came through ponies and showjumping which is accessible to everyone." Sorry, chap, but that's just not true! Nevertheless, congratulations to all of you for getting a medal. BUT - Don't try and make out that dressage is available to all. How many schools or communities have the resources, time, expertise or inclination to provide dressage options - let alone a £5M horse?
Football
Anyone care that GB went out in the first game after the group stage? Thought not. Football shouldn't even be in the Olympics, and I am actually glad that the team didn't get far. Especially as the existence of a GB team has been allowed for the first time in 52 years. The players won't have to go back to the drawing board - there's nothing to go back to because GB football does not really exist. Well done Mexico for beating Brazil in the final - a truly excellent result.
Jade Jones
Marvellous. Well done for the Gold in taekwondo, especially at 19 years old. As impressive as your upward throwing of your helmet after being announced the winner was your wonderful singing in full of the national anthem! Have a word with the sulky Ryan Giggs, who apparently is also Welsh but refuses to acknowledge the British national anthem while participating for Great Britain. Yep, I can't work that one out either. Super performance, Ms Jones.
Walking
I completely missed the walking. I don't feel deprived, though, because it's a weird sport. In fact it's the only one where there's real effort not to go too quick. In all other competitions, it's advantageous in some way to go more quickly. However, if walkers go too quickly, they stray into the realms of jogging/running, and will be disqualified. That means competitors have to move as quickly as they can whilst denying themselves to move too quickly and whilst making sure they look fucking stupid as they move.
VIPs
I saw a newspaper report, the morning after the final of the Men's 200m. It read as follows:
"But Bolt went one better last night, retaining the crown he won in Beijing in 2008, watched by VIP guests including Prince Harry, Lord Coe and Frank Lampard."
Frank fucking Lampard ??? Ha !!!
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