Saturday 4 February 2012

4.2.12 Daily Mail Advert Quota

I am not sure who decides on the make-up of the 120 pages branded as today's Daily Mail, but somehow the person responsible has had a breakdown.  How else can one explain the ludicrously low level of actual content?

A scan of the 120 pages to establish the space taken up by adverts reveals that there are in fact no more than 63.6 pages of actual stories, news and features - including competitions, crosswords and over-sized headings.  63.6 / 120 means an astonishingly low 53% of worthwhile information is presented for the 90p charge. 

47% is shitty adverts, holiday flights, stuff for old people at rip-off prices and general bollocks does not make this a paper of value.  The 90p cost of the paper should really be lowered to 48p.  Okay, I accept some adverts are necessary, but from pages 62 to 97 inclusive (36 in a row!) the only non-adverts are a half page gardening feature, and a half page report on a test drive of a car.

Please could the Editor of the Daily Mail consider a revised approach for the Saturday edition.  I don't want elasticated trousers, shit shoes you can balance on a finger, aids to help me kneel on the lawn, climb on to my roof, or get in a bath.  I do not want to buy seeds, transfer old photos on to any other format, protect myself from DVT, or sit like a cunt in a wingback chair.  My sofas do not need recovering, I don't fancy a fucking scooter or a stairlift.  Support tights are not my thing, nor are thermal socks, Scandinavian slippers, braces or plant pots.  I think I will pass on solar panels, conservatories, replacement kitchen doors.  I fear that despite all of this detail, you'll publish the exact same shit next week as well.

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