Well, there are just over 42 hours to go before we are all hit with more clichés from the world of dance and ice. There will be the usual assortment of Gubba comments, and a sprinkling of advice on how to skate and/or dance better. However, the programme will be held together by the inordinate number of tired phrases that seem to leave people's mouths each week. You could actually make up your own programme, creating a script by selecting some of the following - have a go.
The Presenter, plus Christine Blokey
What are you looking for this week, judges? How do you think he/she did? How did that compare with the first time? In no particular order. Let's have a look at the leaderboard. The nth couple safe and skating next week is . . . . . . . . [painful wait]. Are you happy with that score? But you may still be charged [this one was massively abbreviated]. So if you think xxxx should be here next week, vote for him/her when the lines open. But at the dress rehearsals, xxxx was still having problems.
The Judges
You need more fluidity. You have good strength in your upper core. You had great speed over the ice. You need to work on your transitions. You have floppy fingers. I want to see more personality. You need to push on, and go for it. You need to connect more. You really showed emotion.
Skaters
This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I need to take it to the next level. I am working so hard. I'm having so much fun. I just went for it. Chris and Jayne are an inspiration. I'm happy with that. I don't want this to end. If I don't get it right, I could be going home. This is the best experience of my life. I don't want to be in the skate off. Perhaps it's a good thing that I've been in the skate off before.
The Professionals
He/she has worked so hard. I am really proud of him/her. We've had so much fun.
Chris & Jayne
That was so much better than the first time. You bring so much fun to the ice. He/she has worked so hard. I could see you really enjoyed it. You were so much more relaxed. That was your best performance so far.
Tony Gubba
Not many clichés because he is forever inventing shit. I don't want to repeat what's already been posted on this site, by way of 'Gubba Quotes'.
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