Some confusing signage.
In my experience, very many certainly don't!
Double Parking Advice? 24hr & at all times, eh?
When's Anytime?
Always Constant?
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Friday, 5 January 2018
5.1.18 Stormy Weather
The drivel uttered by supposed weather forecasters is abysmal; their abuse of the language is awful. Here are some examples.
Rain journeying its way south
Sharp showers
The showers will be getting ideas above their station
Temperatures will fall away
Feeling decidedly autumnal today - Radio 4 weatherman, on 10th October, in the middle of fucking autumn
It's really going to feel autumnal as the week goes on - same twat on Radio 4, the following fucking day!
Temperatures struggling to get above - the concept of a a number struggling is ludicrous
Pesky showers
Rain knocking on the door
Muggy temperatures
A bit stuffy in the southeast
The risk of seeing some showers - this is NOT a 'risk'; pathetic bollocks
Showers with some wintry-ness in them - wtf is this?
Temperatures turning colder - No! Lowering! Weather gets colder, not temperatures
The rain will be waxing and waning - Arsehole on a radio weather forecast
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Rain journeying its way south
Sharp showers
The showers will be getting ideas above their station
Temperatures will fall away
Feeling decidedly autumnal today - Radio 4 weatherman, on 10th October, in the middle of fucking autumn
It's really going to feel autumnal as the week goes on - same twat on Radio 4, the following fucking day!
Temperatures struggling to get above - the concept of a a number struggling is ludicrous
Pesky showers
Rain knocking on the door
Muggy temperatures
A bit stuffy in the southeast
The risk of seeing some showers - this is NOT a 'risk'; pathetic bollocks
Showers with some wintry-ness in them - wtf is this?
Temperatures turning colder - No! Lowering! Weather gets colder, not temperatures
The rain will be waxing and waning - Arsehole on a radio weather forecast
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5.1.18 Football Shite
FOOTBALL RELATED QUOTES
Mark Pougatch: "They tick all the boxes, don't they!"
Lee Dixon: "They do. The one box they don't tick is blah blah"
A matter of tact and sympathy return tonight. [Mark Pougatch talking in non-English]
He's probably going to win the ball if it's in and around him. [Ian Wright, talking shite]
So many numbers behind the ball. [Danny Murphy]
This is what Everton done all game. [Ian Wright]
I think it's a culmination of both. [Ian Wright, meaning 'combination']
The uphill mountain he had to climb when he came in. [Leon Osman]
The Mail on Sunday go with Harry Kane. [Gary Lineker]
The discipline that they shown. [Jermaine Jenas]
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5.1.18 Channel Five Is Dire
Can there really be any dispute regarding the atrocious fodder presented to the viewer by Channel 5. Here is an extract from today's schedule.
Aside from the weird and pathetic obsession with 'celebrities' who are in many cases not celebrities, the premise for shows is weak as fuck. Costa Del Celebrity - really?
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Thursday, 4 January 2018
Monday, 1 January 2018
1.1.18 Snap My Arse!
There is an annoying prevalence of the word 'snap' being misused with complete glee by those desperate to try and impress with supposed eloquence and command of the language. This results in fury on my part.
Snap has a few meanings:
1. To break suddenly and completely (Verb)
2. To make a sudden audible bite (Verb)
3. A sudden, sharp cracking sound (Noun)
4. A hurried, irritable tone (Noun)
5. Done or taken on the spur of the moment (Adjective)
It is therefore true that it was a snap decision taken by Theresa May to hold a general election in he summer. However, it was not a 'snap election' because the cunting thing arrived after a fucking six-week run-up. It is in fact impossible to have a snap election, because there is always a prolonged build-up to such things.
Then we come to the idiotic prevalence of 'cold snap' being used by weather forecasters, whose delight in yet another pointless adoption of words to use when waffling about weather is obvious. I invite you to consider the five definitions above, and explain how the cunting fuck 'cold snap' can be legitimate. Clearly it makes no sense without crushing the English language and making up shit!
What is worse than the misuse of snap within the 'cold snap' bollocks is the complete madness that crept in during a weather forecast a couple of weeks ago; I quote:
"It will matter if we get a very prolonged cold snap."
What the fucking fuck is a 'prolonged snap' then?
Arghhhhhhhhh!
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1.1.18 Pointless Prepositions
There is an absurd obsession with tagging on a preposition when none is required. The worst offenders are cooks, chefs, narrators and competitors on food programmes. The television is swamped with food related programmes, and with them comes a hoard of idiots who cannot fry, reduce, cook or separate without flowering their utterances with shit. Here are examples of the phenomenon.
Cook off the chicken
Reduce down the sauce
Separate out the leaves
Roast off the meat
Mold them up (ref samosas)
Fry off the butter
Braise down the leeks
Balance out the ingredients
Sealing off the meat
This all follows the same path as "return back" and other such ludicrous inputs. Pleonastic SHIT!
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