Monday, 8 April 2013

8.4.13 March Quotes of the Month





1   -  "Is that Automatic Kitten?"  [Sue S, referring to Atomic Kitten on The Reunion on TV]

2   -  "Wristwear by Sekonda."  [TV advert.  Fuck off!  It's a watch, not a bloody bangle!]

3   -  "I'm a complete alpha male, but some people misinterpretate that."  [Contestant on Come Dine With Me]

4   -  "You can have that if you can get your tongue in there."  [Sue S, ref custard in the serving dish given to Genie - Note: Genie is a dog]

5   -  "Techniques is an overused term, by people who want to promote some shit."  [TMWSC]

6   -  "For some reason I'm verging towards Chile."  [Contestant on In It To Win It]

7   -  "We've had a lot of bad media."  [Illiterate twat on Match of the Day]

8   -  "So, Ireland lose that game of tennis."  [Rugby commentator - Italy v Ireland]

9   -  "I think last week set a very high barometer."  [Rugby commentator, Six Nations competition]

10 -  "I want something knocking on the door of special."  [Greg Wallace, Masterchef]

11 -  "Much better on the drizzle."  [Greg, again, talking bollocks]

12 -  "No, it's Battery Operated Dog."  [TMWSC, answering Sue's question - see first quote]

13 -  "Look, you can see it's minging all round the toes."  [Sue S, ref second hand Crocs for sale on Ebay]

14 -  "Tottenham defended unbelievable today."  [Sol Campbell, avoiding an adverb]

15 -  "It's been well cherished."  [Twat on Flog It! qualifying 'cherished' without need]

16 -  "GPS co-ordinants."  [Thick twat on The Common Denominator]

17 -  "Who's Pele?  I thought it were a pasta sauce."  [Thick twat again, being a Common Denominator]

18 -  "Creator of an alternate universe."  [Dell advert, which should have said 'alternative']

19 -  "I've come for a little bit of tranquil peace and quiet."  [Great British Menu]

20 -  "I'm just redoing them again."  [Great British Menu contestant, ref his second batch]

21 -  "The sale of beefburgers have fallen to 47%."  [Daily Mail website]

22 -  "Y-Fronts are where you unravel your dick out of a hole."  [TMWSC]

23 -  "The funnyman is aiming to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for the most number of questions on a TV chat show."  [Daily Mail TV Guide]

24 -  "Roman General after Roman General have been despatched."  [Kevin Day, Match of the Day 2]

25 -  "It's nice to see a big hole that's supposed to be there!"  [TMWSC]

26 -  "On those used set of tyres."  [Grand Prix commentator, displaying no awareness of grammar]

27 -  "They need to be rootless."  [Roy Keane, trying to say 'ruthless']

28 -  "They are the type of game you need to get through."  [Gary Neville, being inarticulate]

29 -  "You've got a very strong lead."  [An understatement by Nick on Countdown, regarding the 84-7 score]

30 -  "We made it ourself."  [One of the members of One Direction]

31 -  "Round and round they go."  [Scintillating commentary from Alan Dedicoat on the Lottery draw]

32 -  "Not a lot gets past my arse."  [Sue S]

33 -  "How many's dead in there?"  [Eric, asking about Casualty on TV, with morbid interest]

34 -  "I'm not watching, I'm looking."  [Eric, again, clarifying his TV activity]

35 -  "It's almost incalcuble."  [Illiterate narrator on The Queen]

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