Santander
Sorry, but I am fed up of seeing Jessica Ennis, Jenson Button and Rory McIlroy on TV telling me how I can get some interest. As if for a fucking second we believe these three have any interest themselves in Santander or the products being touted. No, all the money they are raking in is squirreled away in offshore accounts and is most probably arranged in such a way as to avoid paying tax. A Santander 123 account is therefore irrelevant to them. I am pleased that Rory knows how to eat an apple, but less pleased that the interest rate available to savers might go up 0.1% should this bloke win a game of 'knocking a little ball into a hole with a stick'.
Confused.com
No, I am far from confused, thank you. Never have I been clearer about anything than I will NEVER use this company, one that sings at me in an infuriating way. It is as annoying as the fucking Halifax.
Halifax
"I'll Be There" is perhaps the worst bit of news ever broadcast (well, sung actually) and I welcome the day when they shut the fuck up. Also, rather than tout competitions, include a draw for £250,000, why doesn't this company with a rather disastrous history of managing money stick to banking services and not losing billions.
RBS
No, I am not referring to Rihanna, Bieber & Swift, the pathetic trio of music performers who are simply ghastly, but the Royal Bank of Scotland which included within it the NatWest Bank. This is the organisation hell bent on offering advice when its own history shows it couldn't handle a kid's pocket money properly. "Helpful Banking" my arse!
The Martin Lewis Money Show
I saw this (I think between episodes of Coronation Street) and wish I'd invested the half hour in watching paint dry, which would have been more helpful, educational and entertaining. Talk about act like a twat, engage in stupid exchanges and sketches with a female sidekick who was clearly just pleased to be on telly despite exercising no skill or intellect. This dire offering from ITV laboured a point about moving money between credit cards and treated the viewers like they were thick as fuck. As for trying to shop around and save a few quid on American hotels by gambling on which one a particular auction site would select for the promised bid, it was pathetic. Most people bothering to go to the USA would rather like to know where they are staying, and not gamble. Plus, the homework necessary to prepare to bid and benefit from the weird system Martin devised was over the top. I won't be watching this tosh again, and will instead have a tin of paint at the ready.
Admiral
Sorry, but whatever your claims to be wonderful, especially with multi-car insurance, I have only ever found your quotes to be stupidly more than other companies' offers. Perhaps you can stop advertising and knock some money off the charges, eh?
HSBC
Will someone please tell that girl to fuck off with her lemonade, and do some homework. The corny bollocks that sees her now travelling the work and franchising the business is just crap. I can't say I've ever seen anyone queue up for a glass of lemonade, and the economics of distributing fruit and or drinks to kids worldwide for sale to passing coachloads of tourists is simply silly. What about trading licences, insurance, health & safety and all the other red tape that fucks up any retail business?
MoneySupermarket.com
No, not so much "Epic" as a right fucking pain in the arse. Note - is there anyone left who can still save £400 on car insurance?
CompareTheMarket.com
Meerkats? Just small annoying cunts. I have had enough, thank you - it's that fucking simple!
Go Compare
Go fuck off.
Liverpool Victoria
Dum-diddy-dum-diddy, dumb dumb bollocks.
Direct Line
Too many adverts and some sharp practices in renewal premium setting - see my post last week.
NFU
The National Farmers Union - what's farming got to do with me?
Lloyds TSB
For the journey? What journey? 'Journey' is the most overused and inappropriately used word that's thrown about these days. Whoever in the Lloyds marketing department thought that one up ought to be put to sleep.
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