What the hell are drivers taking these days? Whatever the illicit substance is, a side effect is that they lose all fucking sense of 'common' when it comes to negotiating roundabouts, and they completely ditch everything they were ever taught when learning to drive. There are four cuntish things that crop up with regularity. There are many others that are less common. I am annoyed when I see people:
1 - Approaching and then joining the roundabout using the left-hand lane whilst turning fucking right! They glide round the outside of the roundabout, oblivious to the havoc they wreak. Fucking zombies.
2 - Looking at me like I'm the cunt, after they have blocked my own exit from the roundabout after following the approach identified in 'No.1' above.
3 - Exiting a roundabout on to a duel carriageway such that they are instantly in the fast lane whilst having insufficient speed to qualify for being there! This creates the stupid position whereby they are then panicking about moving to the left but can't because that's where I am, or I am just about to be. The panic stops them putting down a right foot on to a pedal and instead causes consternation, and worse, 'dithering'. The end result is that I am forced to: (a) Undertake them, or (b) wait for fucking ages, after slowing down, so they can move left and get into the lane in which they should have exited the roundabout!
4 - Approaching a roundabout, with the right indicator flashing. This suggests, as per the Highway Code, that the driver is intending to turn right. Finding that the cunt was actually intent on going straight on is infuriating. For some strange reason, there's a weird phenomenon whereby some drivers think you have to signal right until you pass the exit before the one you want to take, at which point you then signal left. This is of course cuntin' bollocks and has never been the rule!
Coaches & Buses
Drivers have the annoying habit of trying to manipulate things so that their fellow drivers-of-long-people-carrying-things get to pull out. So it was that on Friday, I was forced to stop on a 40 mph road at the bottom of a dip and on a bend, because an Arriva bus had simply stopped, and was letting out from a side road a car followed by a coach followed by another Arriva bus. Cunt.
Much worse had arisen earlier in the day. A coach had decided to park up and wait (no idea what for, but I suppose this sort of thing is occasionally necessary). The issue I had was the driver's chosen location to sit and wait. Between Whitby and Scarborough, on the single carriageway A171:
a) on the fucking road, leaving just one metre of lane
b) on a bend
c) with double white lines in the centre of the road
d) at the top of a hill
e) at the intersection with a side track
In fact, this complete piece of cuntism represented the most ill-advised and ludicrous place to stop any vehicle, let alone a fucking great coach, that I have ever seen in my life! The lorry in front of me had difficulty passing, as did I with an ever lower viewpoint. Looking forward and right and down from behind a coach in a section of road that's officially 30 mph (just for the bend) in a national speed limit area is not easy, with cars keeping momentum as the come up the hill from the other direction and threatening to squash my bonnet into my face. I could only sound the horn as I passed. If I'd be in a JCB I might have been tempted to hoik the coach over the edge into a field.
Caravans
Enough said.
Farm Implements On Wheels
Finally, there should be a law that says slow-moving 'meccano' should have to make regular stops to let driver pass by. They should of course be made to stop in a lay-by or off-road (and not where stupid coach drivers deem it acceptable to stop) and give those wishing to travel above jogging pace the chance to avoid detention! Alas, it is all to common to have cars snaking behind a weird metal contraption that probably sucks the seeds out of pomegranates before the pulp becomes jam, or ties sunflowers into bales.
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